Miraculously Healed by Sea and Sun

The sea has always been the perfect panacea for all that ails me. Again it has worked its' charms on my spirit.

Honey and I had a lovely afternoon. The morning was cool and grey, and we were the only ones on the beach other than a few runners who occassioned passed on their morning trek. Without the sun, the water was too chilly for swimming, yet we waded in anyway. We bundled in the extra towels and beach blankets after, giggling.

Our carpe' diem spirit seemed to please the sun, for it broke through the clouds and graced us with its' warmth, creating the prettiest beach skies we've had in years.
We talked and laughed and dreamed together. We meandered knee-deep in waves, selecting shells and sea rocks that pleased us.

I love this picture of Honey. She is so perfectly Honey in it: full of joy, irreverent, confident, beautiful. I am constantly amazed at her wisdom and center , something I only could have dreamed of possessing at fourteen years young. How blessed I am, to have a daughter that I can laugh with and enjoy with such ease.

After a few short hours, the salty calm of the sea air had cleared the cobwebs from my head. Honey, too, felt it's magical effects . I remember as well, how wonderful it can be through the off season as well. We challenge each other to remember how medicinal the sea and surf can be for us throughout the year. It is so silly that we can find this clarity and be so recharged with little more than a tank of gas, yet we do it so rarely. Honey is already blocking another day trip into the calendar before September is over. Smiles, all around!

Seaside Heights...here we come!

HoneyGirl and I are heading to the beach for the day.

Am I finished lesson planning? Not nearly.

Are all administrative tasks neatly completed? Hardly.

Is my house a mess and the fridge empty? Absolutely.

Do I care about any of that? Not today :)

Back tomorrow with pictures and a sunkissed smile!

Resurfacing and Being

I feel as if I am metaphorically blinking in the sunlight as I emerge from this cave of lesson planning. I've been extremely productive, but totally one-minded. Thank goodness my family is forgiving, for meals have been their responsibility or happenstance at best.

Still, life goes on outside of this . Buzz started college this week, and so far is loving both his professors and classmates. Honey has kept herself busy, first caring for an orphaned bunny that our golden retriever brought in, then reorganizing her closet and drawers. She's been picking up my slack, thankfully, in household chores and such.

I'm finally feeling as if I have topped the mountain of work, as it was, and am now on the downward slope. I have 85% of two co-op classes planned out, with only 15% of the third accomplished. Today, I shall put my nose to the grindstone once more to get the majority of work for the class behind me.

I still have promises to keep. HoneyGirl wants a day at the beach. I want to use my gift certificate for a massage. We both want to try some recipes together, and take a field trip to finish astronomy. We need some concentrated time together to organize her studies for her freshman year.

Most importantly, is we want some time to just "be" , before all the activities and lessons start for this year. There is nothing like the purposeful and ever-present state of "being" to center oneself. For much of the year, I walk around divided and distracted, thinking of all the things that need to be handled next. This leads to all sorts of anxiety and stress, and stops me from fully enjoying the present.

I realize that merely "being" is a choice, just like being happy. I want to be present in my own life, with my family , and with my friends. "To be or not to be" has taken on a whole new meaning for me.

Sequestering Myself...

I can no longer ignore the calendar. I am terribly far behind in lesson planning for the three classes that I teach in the fall. Anxiety is starting to set in. I know that I need to have around 80% of the year mostly planned so that I can manage my heavy schedule during the year. Right now, I am at varying stages of 15-20% in each one. Not good.

As such, I am sequestering myself next week for lesson planning. I can knock it all out, and still have a few weeks before co-op starts to settle back into a rhythm without anything hanginig over my head.

Check back with you all then....

Reality Hits: College Freshman

Buzz and I had an invitation to a meet and greet program at the community college last night for the Honors Scholarship students. There were a dozen or so faculty on hand, both administrative and teaching. A handful of sophmore honors scholars were on hand, as well as a few graduates of the program. Even the dean of the college was there to welcome the kids to the program.

The growth at our local community college has been huge, with over 3000 kids attending daytime classes. The speaker pressed the point that the 22 selected for the honors program are their "best and brightest". Each student was called up on stage and introduced to the group, telling their background, interests, and goals. I was amazed at how many homeschooled kids were among the group. At every opportunity, they drew out the similarities of interests/goals between the different kids. Within the first hour, they were creating a team atmosphere for these kids.

The advisor in charge of the program spoke. The honors scholars program is designed to track these twenty-two, along with last year's returning sophmores intensely. They will have three cohort classes together (honors seminar, philosophy, speech) , in addition to their
specific freshman math and english and elective. The second semester will be the same, with the cohort classes focusing on English, Sociology, and honors research skills. They are set up on study teams together, as well as taking part in special events throughout the year.

The concept is remarkable, really. These kids become a team, creating initial built in support from the beginning. People from the academic help center were there, explaining about math lab and english tutoring opportunities for even the bright students. The honors profs were all there, meeting and kids and asking questions to really get to know them personally from the first minute.

We broke up for a picnic. A gentlemen approached us who had the coolest job title ever -Dean of Student Success. He was endearing and supportive, and he and Buzz immediately clicked. He invited Buzz to visit him anytime, whether stressed or excited or just wanting sugar (he keeps a stash of candy in his office.) It was amazing to sit and watch the faculty working among the tables of students, truly excited to get to know them.

The freshman (OMG!) went off after the meal to discuss their summer reading assignment, To Kill A Mockingbird. Buzz told me they immediately dove into literary analysis of the book, and he was thankful that he had taken that class this year and could hold his own. (Thanks Mrs. Wenson!). Then, a few of the sophmores spoke and forewarned them of the rigors of the program, the importance of time management, and told them of how much fun studying together can be. Pizza definitely becomes a fifth food group, as I remember well.

Meanwhile, the parents got more indepth info on the special services provided, such a college and major search for transferring. They offer their skills to help the kids find the career/school that would be best suited them. Hearing them talk about former students, groups, it was easy to see that these folks are truly invested in the kid's success as well. Moreover, they meet with the kids frequently, trying to trouble shoot any potential problems on any level along the way.

We left and Buzz had a reserved excitement. He had met some great kids already, and realizes now what a great opportunity it will be to have a built in peer group on his first day. I'm so excited for him. The reality has hit... we've got a college freshman in the house!!!

Course conundrum= Character Building

HoneyGirl is a planner. Last spring, she wanted to sit down and plot out her high school plan, making sure to include the courses that our state requires and known electives that she wanted to take in 9th grade. She decided that while she is undecided about her future career goals, she does want to give herself the option to graduate early or start art classes at hte community college her senior year.

As such, she elected to add a half credit science in the summers. A half-credit science can be earned hourly, and at 60 hours, is fairly easy to attain over a summer . Mind you, this was HER idea. We developed a well-suited curriculum of reading, online research, DVDs, labs, and field work.

The problem? Honey has realized she has little interest in astronomy at an in-depth level, once all is said and done. All the geometry, physics and star charts don't spark her imagination; they give her a headache. She has already logged 42 of the needed 60 hours. Hence the conundrum.

She wanted to discuss the situation late last night, and asked me to help her weigh the options. One one hand, she has 18 more hours to face in a subject she finds less palatable than lima beans to finish. She could easily quit now, and no harm done, as this was an elective fourth science and not required to graduate.

On the other hand, she recognizes the waste of all the work she has put in, and wonders if in future years she will regret not having that extra cushion. She wonders at what point is it worth just trudging through something distasteful to ust accomplish it, if it may later provide the freedom to pursue something wonderful.

I was both awed and reassured to watch her work all of this out for herself. More and more, I find her turning to me long before making a bad choice. She is a thinker who approaches life with open consideration of all outcomes. I am careful to not tell her what choices to make any longer, but act rather as a sounding board.

I instead asked her questions. What is it that you would then be doing with the extra hour a day? Would these eighteen hours be view as less of a sacrifice in a future summer when you are working or have great opportunities? Would these hours be easier to put in during a school term, on top of your other studies? Are you willing to just step back and have only the three required sciences?

I added also that I do not have any wish for her in this choice other than that she has thought it through completely. I don't really think it is necessary , but it wasn't my four year plan. If she had felt this way the first few weeks in, I would have encouraged her to drop it. But now it is also a bit of a character issue in play. How will she feel if she quits, so close to the end? Will it be defeating ?

She woke EARLY this morning, apparently with it on her mind. We talked over 5:30a toast. She has decided that she wants to see this through, because she really has nothing but time the rest of this summer. She would regret quitting in the end. Still, she wondered if we can limit the physics/ rocket science aspects and focus more on history and theories, or add in more practical labs. I suggested we add a few DVDs with great images.

I sent her back to bed for a few hours more of sleep, while I sit proud and grateful of the woman she is becoming. I think I'll help her out and see what I can find online or on netflix for today's lesson!

Where Have All the Good Girls (and Boys) Gone?

I am afraid I am going to reveal myself as somewhat old-fashioned with this post, but I have been deeply troubled lately with the lack of morality and respect between teenagers and the opposite sex. I am more troubled with the utter lack of self-respect owned my most teens.

I will start with a little story, quite typical. A certain teenaged boy I know was at a carnival. He spies a cute girl, and begins flirting. They exchange cell phone numbers. They text incessantly for a day or two. By week's end, they are going on a date and are "committed" boyfriend/girlfriend. Said boy shows his sister a picture of the girl, but sister is appalled. It is a body shot from the neck down of the girl in a bikini. Sister wonders about her expected response: "What do you want me to say? Nice rack?"

I admit that I know nothing of this girl, her upbringing or family. All I know for sure is that before knowing a boy a week, she is sending photos over the cell phone that objectify herself and key up the sexual aspects of a potential new relationship. The action alone screams two words to me: needy and sleazy. Said boy defends this behaviour as extremely common and "normal." "Girls do it all the time" I'm told. Then he grins like the horndog he is becoming and goes back to texting her.

I suppose he is correct that it is both common and normal for most teenagers today. And how very SAD is that reality. Worse still is the fact that most parents have just given over to this and are passively approving it, because that's "what kids do nowadays." My own husband's first reaction was to give an "attaboy" response.

There are so many facets of this issue that have been floating around my head. There is the psychological aspect : such an overwhelming need for love and approval that is based on sex. This is not a new story; there have always been those girls that are known to be "easy". Still, they had usually been the minority and were easy to pick out. Somehow, the tables got turned, and the minority are those who are those who don't have half-naked pictures of themselves on MySpace. Technology is giving kids the means to exploit themselves in ways never considered before.

I'm also bothered by the social double standard present in my home. When asked if he would view such an action "normal" if his sister did the same, both father and son became incensed at the thought. I further pressed to see how they would feel about other teenage boys who press sister to send photos of herself like that, since it is "common" and "normal" and "what everybody does nowadays." Both were vehement about the idea of that happening, and furious at the thought of any boy requesting such a thing from her. I find it ironic that they just never noticed the hypocrisy of it.

Honey and I talked long about her frustrations with the other side of this situation. She meets a great deal of boys, both in real life and through online gaming. She has astutely begun classifying boys in three categories. There are those who are just raging perverts from the get-go; there are those who show a good front for a week or two and then let their inner pervert show. There is that last third that have the potential to be gentlemen, and actually want to get to know her as a person and become her friend first.

She finds it pretty sad that because so many other girls have so little self-respect, she has to deal with so many of the first two types. She's been called a prude, according to society's standards, because she's romantically saving her first kiss for someone worthy. It's even making it difficult to find and keep quality girlfriends, as she doesn't want to be associated with girls that are constantly getting drunk or have a reputation. She often comes to me baffled as to why so few parents are accepting this sort of standard in their kids; why do they not notice?
How can they be too busy to care if their child has become a cyber-whore?

I try to recall my youth, and I realize that the same issues were going on, but on a much more secretive scale. I am quite certain that most teenage boys fantasized about Playboy bunnies at one time or another. The difference is that the girl sitting next to them in geometry didn't send them a photo of herself posed as one. There was still some sort of mystery about the people you dated, and social rules of appropriate behavior. (Never kiss on the first date; don't try for 2nd base until at least a month of dating,etc.). It wasn't until going away to college that most people loosed the morals of their youth and tested different waters. We all lived double lives, keeping our escapades from our parents out of respect.

As a parent of one entering college, I know that I can't force my morality on him. At the same time, I don't feel that I have to approve of it and have it in my home. I might be really liberal in many of my views, but I am just not "cool" enough to tolerate a parade of rotating trollops through my house.

The sad part is, I am really not a prude. I know my kids are going to date, and I am realistic that they will most likely not get married as virgins. I just hate that it is old-fashioned to hope that they actually developed relationships with people based on common interests and attraction , instead of someone with a hot body that they barely know. I now understand what my sister-in-law meant when she said she was happier not knowing anything about the girls until a relationship was serious enough to bring one home to the family.

And then I have to pray that Honey is able to maintain her clear thinking, and avoid kissing a lot of toads before finding a prince who will appreciate a girl with self-respect. Sigh...it was so much easier when they were little!!!

Homeschooling the Only...

It hit me this week that I will now be homeschooling only one child. Obviously, I *KNEW* it as I celebrated Buzz's graduation and all that it entailed. But I had not slowed down enough to truly wrap my head around it until this week.

I can do more than just select/create curriculum matched to the child's learning styles and desires. For the first time ever, we have the opportunity to create a lifestyle geared toward optimal learning for this child. I am no longer dividing my time between activities for two, planning trips that both would enjoy, etc. I finally have more time for my own pursuits, without having to give up every moment of free time. Valhalla!

HoneyGirl I and spent a lot of time pondering this exciting idea last week. She was home from camp, and needing to recover from a knee injury. I needed to get to work on lesson plans for my ancient world studies class. We had thought of starting back into astronomy and pre-algebra review, but decided to put it off.

Instead I suggested that she spend some time coming up with ideas of activities and field trips she would like to explore. I did the same. I also suggested that she come think about a loose daily schedule for herself .

Yesterday we packed a lunch and headed to our favorite park and shared our ideas. She would like to investigate a local theatre group outside hte co-op that does straight theater, as she prefers it to the musicals. She wants to look into youth group at a local Methodist church that she heard is quite large and rich with activities. We are going to look into Venture Crews a little further, to find one that fits and has another girl in it! And she wants help setting up some sort of health/ training schedule.

Field trips are still pretty open though. She wants to do a lot of museums and plays. She loves the beach, and wants to make some day trips there. I'd like to add in some other trips that add to our ancient history studies, as well as some just for fun. If any of you on the east coast have any ideas of quirky local festivals or places to visit...please feel free to share. We have the added blessing that Buzz is going to college locally, and offered to be responsible for dog care if we need to do an overnight somewhere.

I am thrilled to realize that I have time again to add a book club to my schedule again. I love the sharing of ideas about books with others. A new yarn shop opened up, and I am going to look into their classes, as I have time to knit and crochet again as well. As much as I love giving myself to my kids, I am now happily discovering many options for the found time of homeschooling only one.

I'm so excited to be entering this new phase....