A gift for the dogs....and an update

Yes folks, their very own fire hydrant, in the back yard. My DH was on a site where they were hauling away a few old ones that were torn up to build an upscale mall, and brought one home.

They love it!

I'm feeling much better, BTW. A few days of nothing but relaxing, with a little baking and wrapping thrown in have been wonderful. Honey and I have been cooking up a storm. I can honestly say that I missed cooking big dinners while working nights.

Today I think I'll throw in a few board games and a trip out for a giant mixing bowl. Must make more cookies!

Snuggled in , with canine bedwarmers

I'm enjoying some much needed down time in bed, although it comes after medical necessity.
Not wanting to make a big deal of things, I didn't mention it here. It was outpatient surgery, to gain info. I was hoping for the quickie snip and go, but further exploration proved that isn't going to work out. Looks like I will be needing a larger procedure later, but I will be postponing until spring if possible.

For now, I am snuggled down with my dogs, my laptop, and some good books. Now, I am off to nap again.

The Countdown to Slowness...

I slept in this morning, and it was GLORIOUS. I won't even bemuse the fact that the dog woke me up a few times during the night to go out ; I think I am just enamoured with the idea of sleeping in. And today was the first of TWO whole weeks of doing so!



I have also begun the countdown for my evening job...working only tonight and tomorrow before having a week off from that as well. I will work for two weeks after the holidays, if the choose to need me after I give my notice to quit.



That's right folks...I am quitting the second part time job. I have taken my money /value lesson to heart. The money I earn does not nearly equal in value the worth of the time it takes away from me, from my family, from my ability to pursue things that bring me joy.

Most of all, I don't want to miss out on Honey's high school years. Fifteen is an awfully tough time for a young lady, and she is seeking my guidance. I don't want to be rushing through her education just to get it done, when she is wanting to slow down and explore concepts. I want she and her friends to be able to go to that late night movie or dance, and not worry about which junior driver will be trying to manage the slick roads.

Yep, all I want for Christmas is the joy of a slower pace in life. Hopefully Santa remembers that I have been a very good girl!

Lesson of the week: Money, Worth, and Value

We live in a materialistic society, where until recently, most folks readily whipped out the plastic to purchase on any little whim. It seems that buyers are rethinking that habit, and are becoming a bit more thoughtful. Still, the holiday season is upon us, and urge to spend is at its' most frenetic. Everywhere we turn are sale flyers and advertisements, warning to "Buy Now!" or miss out.

Extremists cry for bans on gift giving this holiday, calling for closed purses and, in my view, grim spirits. I don't think a feast or famine approach to anything is wise. I love shopping for and/or making special gifts for friends and family. I find JOY in that, and there are wonderful lessons for our children to see experience the good in the giving (instead of just receiving.)

As such, we've been making the focus of Honey's sociology/life lessons this month the concepts of money, worth, and value. It's been interesting to study the economic definitions of each. We did a simple internet search, and ended up using a basic About site, and some others. This gave us a great starting point for our discussions.

I wanted her to understand the while $5 might be equal in monetary terms, it's VALUE changed dramatically through variables like earning potential, economic status, and exchange. An adult who has a six-figure salary will not place the same VALUE on a $5 bill as a ten-year old who pooper-scooped the entire yard to earn it. One would flippantly spend it on a venti latte, while the other would hoard it as if it were gold.

Similarly, that same $5 has a different VALUE to someone who is unemployed or of the working poor than someone with wealth. For one, it could be the difference of a weeks worth of PB & J lunches. For the other, it might be an inconsiqunetial tip for the valet.

Exchange is the last concept I want her to understand. If that $5 is being used for medicine for a sick child, it's VALUE takes on a greater importance than if it is exchanged for entrance into a movie (even if that movie is in the Twilight series!).

We are going to be applying these value concepts this weekend as we finish our holiday shopping. There is also a concept of VALUE that can be applied here as well. The perfect gift for someone doesn't always have to be costly.

It's easy to get caught up in buying. I've watched parents spend $100 on stocking stuffers at the toy store, then return it all to buy that great telescope they thought was too expensive in the first place, and pledge to fill the stocking with homemade coupons.

I'll let you all know how we make out....

Always Amazing Anne (spelled with an "E")

Anne of Green Gables is one of my favorite children's classics, and is Honey's favorite as well. So when we learned DeSales University with a fabulous theatre department was putting on a holiday production, we eagerly bought our tickets.

What a delightful morning! The set design was honestly breathtaking in it's accuracy and practicality. The actors gave a perfect portrayal , true to the books core. It appealed to the deeper message of the transformative power of love.

It also gave a perfect platform to discuss how often people take for granted a loving family, the leisure to be educated, and most of all, a place to call home. Both Honey and I have been carrying around a bit of a glow all day.

I think Anne epitomizes the sort of love we all need to remember this season!

Glorious snow...

How full of the creative genius is the air in which these are generated! I should hardly admire more if real stars fell and lodged on my coat.
~Henry David Thoreau, 1856

We had our first snow of the year yesterday. I was working at the toy store when the first flakes began to fall. I barely made it an hour before I was out front, spinning in it like a child. Snow is a great panacea for my soul.

For now, I am off to enjoy it with a walk, as it is much better when one is OUT in it!

A Most Magical Season...

This has always been a magical season for us to celebrate. I'm a generous sort, and I love this season where I can focus on those around me and gift away. You see, it's only materialistic if it is obligatory! When you truly love the person you are gifting, the joy comes at the first ponderings of the "perfect gift." The gifts are not always monetary either, but can often be something homemade, or even the gift of time. (like when we gave a gift of pressure washing a house to a neighbor who wanted it done but couldn't afford it!)

Gifting is only part of my joy. I cannot wait to bedeckle my house. We managed only the lights so far, and funerals and out of town work will postpone our tree-trimming party until Dec. 12th. Still, I can hardly wait to have the living room aglow with lights, shimmering off ornaments of crystal and glass. I've already dug out the the stack of holiday music cds, to play in the background all day long.

I have the days right before Christmas off from retail this year as I undergo a procedure on the 18th. Knowing that I have this time at home, yet unsure of how I will be feeling physically afterward, I am planning some low key actitivies. The holiday cards will obviously wait until then (and my blogger friends, especially those who have moved, EMAIL me with your addys!) I have a few quick gifts to crochet, which will be the perfect project while watching stacks of DVDs together.

I am looking for some new holiday baking recipes (Honey is dying to try to make red velvet cupcakes ---any one have a tried recipe to share?) I have an early gift for her of cake decorating supplies and fondant, and I anticipate some afternoons playing with all of it. I'm excited to host Christmas Day brunch again, and would be interested in a few new recipes to try for that as well.

I am so brimming with holiday spirit that not even the grumpy mean shoppers at the toy store are going to get me down this weekend. I shall don my reindeer antlers and if necessary, beat the holiday spirit into them with candy canes! Joyful! Joyful! :)

Scraping the Frost from the Window...

Scraping the Frost from the window is the perfect metaphor, especially as I return to blogging. November was a physically and emotionally draining time for us. HoneyGirl was stricken with a string of illnesses...swine flu, then strep, then a cold that turned to bronchitis. There was a solid month where our energies needed to focus on health.

This need to slow down and stop was a struggle for me. I can admit that there were days early on when I dreamed of the freedom of the younger years, when a month's illness could be filled with snuggling by the fire, reading books, and doing puzzles. I longed to just be mother without teacher, and to care for her with no lingering worry about how far behind she was getting.

Then one afternoon, I was reading by the fire while she slept on the sofa. I had a copy of the "The Tao of Pooh" that I wanted to read to help me understand Taoism before I tried to teach it to my ancient studies class. I was immediately drawn to the simplicity and wisdom of these teachings.

One particular passage, in which the author compares the minds of the different characters, stopped me in my tracks.

"An Empty sort of mind is valuable for finding pearls and tails and things because it can see what's in front of it. An Overstuffed mind is unable to. While the Clear mind listens to a bird singing, the Stuffed-Full-of-Knowledge-and-Cleverness mind wonders what kind of bird is singing. The more Stuffed Up it is, the less it can hear through its own ears and see through its own eyes. Knowledge and Cleverness tend to concern themselves with the wrong sorts of things, and a mind confused by Knowledge, Cleverness, and Abstract Ideas tends to go chasing off after things that don't matter, or that don't even exist, instead of seeing, appreciating, and making use of what is right in front of it. "

I was filled with clarity. There was nothing that mattered more than getting Honey back to health. Yet the quandry was that I am stuck with ALL these other obligations: teaching, administrating the co-op, running the home, and my job at the toy store. KingBee was again working out of state during the week, so I was also doing the single parent thing at the time. I needed to find a way.

Lao-tse wrote
"To attain knowledge, add things every day.
To attain wisdom, remove things every day.

And there, my friends, was the answer. I began by removing things from my long t-do list. So much of my life had become driven by busy habits that, while not all together harmful, ate up a LOT of my time, my freedom. I stopped blogging and reading blogs, and made myself unavailable for chatting on the phone. I stopped reading email loops and visiting favorite news websites. I loosened up my cleaning regimine, and actually let some laundry pile up and stopped dusting. I stopped worrying about creating wonderful meals EVERY night, and ate simply with more left-overs.

I let go of any guilt or worry about time-tables with every academic subject unless Honey was interested. Interestingly , she chose to keep up with history reading and research, her phsycial science. Once a bit better, she worked diligently to catch up to her public speaking class. We didn't even attempt to keep up with algebra and German, as she couldn't hold a single concept in her head between naps.

Instead, we played lots of board games. She conquered jigsaw puzzles, a previous challenge to her dyslexic mind. We watched a tons of old movies and analyzed themes. And best of all, we shared . In slowing down, I took on the role of storyteller, as she asked me all about my childhood, my mother, and life. In turn, I asked her to share her dreams and hopes, and fears.

Most of all, we discussed the things of true importance to us in all areas of our lives. I've realized that I love the co-op and teaching, but cannot do the quality job I want while working at the toy store. After the holidays, I'm quitting. We both want to commit more fully to a different lifestyle, filled with quality activities that do not necessarily cost money. I need time more than the money I earn.

Her health has returned quite a bit, but she still has a road to go. I finally succumbed to bronchitis over the last week or so, but am allowing myself permission to keep letting things go to take care of me. (and utterly new concept as well). I miss blogging , but realize that I will have to cut back on the amount of time devoted to reading blogs every day. Moderation, it seems, will be the key.

And those syllabi? I'm not quite ready to scrap them, for I see value in having a plan. I am just not worrying about how long the journey takes any more. I would rather enjoy the singing of the bird.

Farm Girl Sisterhood, Complete with Merit Badges

Last year I mentioned finding a great book called MaryJane's Ideabook, Cookbook, Lifebook for the Farmgirl in All of Us. that celebrated the farmgirl in every woman. I've been getting FarmGirl Magazine here and there. The other day, I picked one up and visited the website.

Imagine my joy when I discovered the FarmGirl Sisterhood is going strong, and now offers Merit Badges. My inner farmgirl and my nostalgic Girl Scout unite! I perused the offerings, and am estatic. This is exactly what we are needing around here.

Today will be Honey's 20th day of illness. I've tried to downplay it, as it is just been such a negative. It started with swine, and then strep on top if that. She didn't respond to the antibiotics, and on one of our myriad of office visits picked up a cold on top. That moved quickly into bronchitis, and it's complications. She finally rounding the corner, but our days are filled with breathing treatments and a third round of yet stronger antibiotics. Ugh!

With all of this, she has been struggling to do anything resembling school work. Frankly, she's had days where she is struggling to stay awake for three hours at a time. Asking her to do algebra is ridiculous, as she will forget any lesson we might happen to muddle through. She's been keeping up with her history and German, surpisingly, and is still acing her Plato Science (that is still fun!). I've had to bag a lot of the dynamic literary analysis in lieu of easy grammar review that she can handle in bite size chunks. And all those added academic courses like philosophy, journalism, and sociology are now moving to multi-year status.

She is still facing at least another week of this, and who knows how long until she is mentally recovered. We've already faced the reality that we will be doing math long into the summer to ensure she's gotten it. Her evaluator is right on board with us with these changes. We know that her resisitence is very slow recovering, and are already looking for nesting type projects that keep us close to home.

Honey, however, is mentioning that she likes mini-goals. These badges will become for us a real way to add a little direction. And the variety offers not just hobbies like needle arts, but environmental concerns, horticulture, cooking and community service. How fun!

My Organized Office Space!

Just thought I'd share my wonderful new bookcase, and how nicely it allows me to organize my office space. It doesn't even clash too badly with the toile wallpaper and stenciling...so I am thrilled!

Not bad for a Friday project!

All Kinds of Stinky Goin' On!

Poor HoneyGirl is really struggling to get better. Another trip to the doctor, a higher potency antibiotic for seconday infections. After, of course, a 20 hour battle with the pharmacy, insurance company and office staff to finally discover that the new Dr. had created her own abbreviation for Zithromax, also known as a Zpak. Her creation, however, is the actual name for another medication, used for heart patients. Grrr!

We are spending all our time at home, other than going out for some fresh air on the patio. After more than a week of doing little school, she claimed utter boredom and has started on her own. She's got a system down of waking really early, having some lemon tea, and doing some reading. She takes a nap early, then wakes again around 11am. She can usually manage about 2 hours of school work, then pops in a movie which she promptly naps through. When she wakes, she does another subject, then we play a game or watch a movie together.

Her slow recovery isn't the only stinky here, I must sadly report. Last night around 1am our dog Bear went out and came running through the dog door like a crazed banshee, rubbing his face on the carpet and wimpering. He'd finally met the skunk that has been creeping around the neighborhood. It seemed to be just a warning shot and not full blast, but it got him right in the eye. We flushed the eye, then did tomato baths . He's smelling better than the carpet! Had to throw out the dog bed and living room pillows, which he rubbed his face on in his initial frenzy. Thank goodness for leather furniture that washes so easily!

I sit now, with windows open and candles aflame, waiting for the reek to leave us. What a time to be home sick. It seems that he is now afraid to go out without someone, so I have been making the trek out with them (and loudly announcing my arrival!) Got out my old 22 to clean today, and I am planning on staying up a bit later at night. I'm goin' on a skunk hunt (insert Elmer Fudd voice here), and I am thanking my Daddy today for teaching me how to take care of varmints like this!

Thank God for Lazy friends!

A college girlfriend asked me a few weeks ago if I had any use for two new bookcases. It seems she purchased them from IKEA in the summer, and her husband has not taken the time to put them together. Having waited what she thought was more than patiently, she took his credit card to Ethan Allan and bought herself pre-made bookcases and had them delivered. Snarky girl!

She knew that I have rarely met a book I didn't like or want to keep and could easily whip the bad boys together myself, she offered. I jumped at them, and thanked her profusely! The timing is perfect, as I have a real need for them in my office.

My office, or rather, my corner of the dining room in our quaint Cape Cod, needs bookcases. I am someone who needs organization to function, and a place for all the lesson plans and ideas and books for homeschooling. With the co-op, I need a place to keep all that information as well. And while a file cabinet works for most of it, there is just no way to use one for the plethora of books I use and reference while teaching a class.

Imagine the dreamy way I can now picture my room, with everything in it's space, and no milk crates piled in front of the windows. I'll be able to see the quarter-sawn oak of my dining room table instead of multiple piles of files. DH, having given me cash for our anniversary to clothes shop, will not be surprised when I spend it on adorable organizing bins and boxes that I will stack and label to my heart's delight. I shall splurge on extras, for those future classes, so that as I come across articles or ideas, I can merely pop them into a box that I will one day open like a gift. I'm just giddy thinking about it.

Honeygirl, while not fully recovered, is dying to get out of the house. The hour car ride to my girlfriend's house will be great for her. Since she was unable to take off work to coordinate a visit, I don't have to worry about spreading germs. It even stopped raining so my new bookcases won't get wet.

How exicted I am, then, to get them home and built, and start the transition. Now, if I can only find a sound proofing device to block out television noise from the living room whenever I wish, I'd be estatic!

Through illnessComes an Unexpected Gift

Illness has been a real problem at the Hive for the last month. First we all had our annual fall sinus to chest cold. At the same time, poor Honey was having severe stomach issues, which we quickly diagnosed to a new lactose intolerance. We had just begun getting her dairy free diet on track with substitutions, which no small issue for the milk & butter girl that she has always been.

She found a nearby farm where we can buy goat's milk, and I've been substituting soy products when cooking. A nice side is that I am feeling a lot better, which is leading me to cut out more and more dairy for myself as well. We've been introducing food source calcium in foods such as pumpkin and other squash, and becoming creative with her favority broccoli.

So it really seemed unfair when she came down with the some flu-like symptoms last week. A trip to the doctor and a nasal swab later, she was diagnosed wtih H1-N1. She spend the weekend in bed, enjoying the luxury of limitless movie watching and sleeping, but her symptoms continued to get worse. We returned to the doctor Monday morning, and a throat swab later, we were told she also has strep throat. Holy Cow!

Now my girl is taking antibiotics and is doing her best to rest and recover. We're filling the week with low-key activities (puzzles, reading) in between lots of chicken soup and soft slippery foods . I am grateful to slow down a while, and just "BE" with her. We've had some great conversations, albeit her end sounds quite froggy. Between her naps, I have been also able to catch up with a few friends via telephone, a luxury I haven't had time for lately.

It was in one of these conversations with a dear friend that I received the unexpected gift. This woman is a wonderful person, HOneygirl's art teacher, and someone who has grown to be a good friend. She herself is dyslexic, and is such a great resource for me as I try to teach Honey. She is also a homeschooling mother, and always has such great insights.

In talking about our children's school year so far, I mentioned that it seems that Honey is not applying herself to her Algebra, and that we have been arguing a bit. She stopped me midstream. "I know your daughter, and I think you have forgotten how hard she works for everything. You are off base, and need to remember just how much her dyslexia effects her learning. "

It was like she shook me by my shoulders to set me straight. Honey has come so far that at times, I tend to think that her learning issues have disappeared. Yet each year, I find myself so rushed for time that I try to press her into my schedule. And then we both get frustrated when it isn't owrking. Sigh!

Thank goodness then, for the gift of a few words that remind me to take the time to teach my child, not according to my schedule, but hers. I may have to reevaluate and limit some of my outside commitments, which would probably be a good thing. We will spend the days of recovery moving into a slower pace, and a more joyful lifestyle will certainly result.

As much as I thought I'd love teaching history....

I have realized that I enjoy teaching literature and writing so much more. I love ancient history and find all if it fascinating, but the problem is that no matter how much I try, the kids just don't share that passion. I am having much more luck with my younger class, as we are doing a lot of mapwork and hands on activities (mock mummifications, cunniform tablets,etc).


But my high school class is a bit of a struggle. It seems that those very same students that were such prolific writers in my creative writing class last year are SORELY lacking in their expository writing skills. You can definitely tell those who have been writing essays and reports since they were young to those who are now 8/9th graders and have never done any writing that isn't for pleasure.

I'm having to rework the wheel, so to speak, and it it drudgery for me and those who can write a five-paragraph essay in their sleep. I'm having to spend all the class time I had set aside for fun activities to teach basic writing and research skills. The odd thing is how difficult it is for them to step away from the creative style. Their time-line essays are full of side notes and references to themselves. I remind them over and over that neither they nor I were around in ancient mesopotamia nor were part of building the pyramids, but they cannot grasp how to share information without creative opinion. SIgh....

Which is why I find myself working on lesson plans for next year's high school English class when I can't sleep. I cannot wait to do this literature and writing class on Science fiction and fantasy. I have already selected our six books: TIme Machine by H.G. Wells, Complete Short Stories by Edgar Allan Poe, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne, Harry Potter and the Socerer's Stone, and The Princess Bride by William Goldman. While not all are true classics, they are perfect for teaching the various elements, and will be excellent springboards for the student's writing assignments.

However, until then, I shall return to working on timelines and teaching the essay. I feel such a duty to have all of these kids leave my class balanced writers, even if that means I will not have the time to nurture the love of history as I wished. Double sigh....

The Feathering the Nest...

There is something about autumn that focuses my natural rhythms toward nesting. I scheduled a day off work on Saturday just to really clean the bedrooms, doing the under and behind places where litters of dust puppies lie. Honey and I switched out the summer and winter closets and drawers, airing out the woolen and down. We also donated at car load of outdated or too small clothing that I have determined none of us will wear again.

The guys did nesting chores as well, cleaning and emptying the fireplace and ash pit. THey restacked firewood to prepare for the next load. They prepped the cars, refilling washer fluid and checking oil and batteries.

We all spent some time cleaning one assigned areas; this week it was the bedrooms. For years now, I have done the opposite of spring cleaning. It just makes sense to have a newly cleaned and organized home just before you are going to be spending so much more time inside. This week we will tackle the kitchen, dining and living rooms, and the kids will do the bathrooms. A friend is remodeling her office, and offered me her three-yr old IKEA furniture, so if I can make it fit, I will also be setting up a new office for myself.

Our big project will come the last week of October, when we tackle the basement. The need to have a family room again has become overwhelming with two teenagers. We are getting rid of the weight bench that is used only to air dry comforters of late, as well as excess office furniture from when my DH hasa large office at home. We've been saving up, and will hit Craigs list to shop for some used furniture, and get the kids set for winter as well.

To get all this done, of course, we are stepping away from field trips for a few weeks. We wake and focus on getting school and office work done at a leisurely pace during the day. We've taken to using the evenings to do errands, something we had gotten out of the habit of doing when the kids had nighttime activities. The dogs are even enjoying the change of scenery by walking at dusk, and we are sleeping better for the fresh evening air.

Life is good, and this hectic pace will slow down in November as we turn inward to home and hearth. Which is a very, very good thing!

Friends, Romans, Countrymen....

I am still entranced with the wonderful performance of Julius Caesar we saw yesterday at Willpower Shakespeare Festival at DeSales University. It challenged the senses, as the scenery was Roman, the speech was Elizabethian English, and the costumes were modern day business suits and military fatigues. The actors were professionals, and as such, did a fabulous job. (sorry folks, but I am a bit of a snob about most high schools attempting Shakespeare...the weak acting usually distracts one from Shakespeare's powerful use of words.)

Before the show, however, our teens were treated to a variety of workshops given by the actors. HoneyGirl's group did one that focused on characterization through body movement. Her second workshop was called "Words before Blows: The Power of Persuasion" , and discussed how Shakespeare used tools of rhetoric and the actors used emphasis to stir the crowds. I was thrilled to have them teach these kids about pathos, ethos, and logos in arguments , and the kids all embraced it quickly. Other workshops offered were "Stage Combat: The Illusion of Violence" and "To Stir Men's Blood: Words as Weapons." The groups that took part in those were equally thrilled.

Best of all, we met up with old friends and new and were able to have a leisurely lunch on the beautiful campus . For the first time, Honey is actually considering what the college experience can offer beyond classes, and the idea of living on campus is met with a smile. Yes, it was raelly one of those golden days!

Psychology of a Healthy Homeschool

I've been working on a paper lately, that I hope to turn into a presentation for various homeschool conferences. I was initially very excited to work on the topic. I know that many parents get so locking into an idea of what homeschooling needs to be without looking at their child's needs , and hoped to use various Myers-Briggs models as the basis to expound on various concepts.

Another key issue I often advise on is the lack of direction toward future goals . There are some skills that are basic and should be worked through solidly (how to write a five paragraph essay; maths needed to balance a checkbook, figure interest,etc; etc). I want to incorporate those skills needed for success, working them within them into the various models as well.

I have a solid start ,but the more I write, the more I am wondering if I am missing the mark here. I know a great many homeschooling families, and one of the biggest challenges to success is the baggage the homeschooling parent is bringing into the homeschool from their own life.

We have all seen it, even in ourselves at times. We either follow the same unhealthy patterns from our own childhoods, or overcompensate for them to a negative degree. Or , many feel begin to regret the years given to child-rearing and homeschooling, and begin to step away from their children's true needs to pursue their own. (this is not to say that pursuing one's own needs is bad, only when one does it at the expense of the child. If you can't find time to teach them at home, then do the right thing and send them elsewhere for an education!)

The dilemna is not in identifying the ways in which we bring our own issues into the homeschool.
Those who struggled for friends fret and worry about their children, often pushing their child into every social opportunity that presents itself while dropping the ball on the teaching of the simplest of skills. Those who were high achievers misinterpret the artistic soul of their child as laziness. Those who are insecure in their ability to teach become so regimented that their homeschool is completely devoid of fun. Or those who enroll their children in every available academic opportunity all week long because they do not wish to be home with them to help create a learning lifestyle .

The problem is rather who to identify these archetypes and discuss them in a way that will encourage the listener to look at their homeschool objectively. I know women who fit each of these and more, yet I realize that they do not recognize what they are doing. I have had their children come to me (as their teacher) in frustration because they are never home long enough to do assignments, don't get any aid, or are being forced through algebra II in 7th grade but kept from the art classes they love. I know college bound high school juniors who cannot write a decent paragraph (let alone essay) with mothers is more worried about popularity, and others so stiffled that they have panic attacks.

With each of these cases, I am very limited to do more than make a suggestion here or there, as they have never come to me for advice. Most do not even recognize what is plain to others. I'm not sitting in judgment of them, and fear that given our relationship as parent/teacher, I would be perceived as doing so if I really pressed.

Yet I wonder if those who come to hear a speaker would possibly be able to gain anything from such a workshop. Homeschooling can be such a rewarding, dynamic experience where both parent and child will grow. We just need to find out what kind of nutrients we need, and add the right amount of sunlight and warmth. I know that for most of these women, their hearts are in the right place, but they need to pack their baggage at the door to make it a truly worthwhile experience.

I suppose I am asking before I go any further with this if you feel something like this would be helpful, or just piss you off. :) I'd love some feedback.

Has it been that long?

I wish I could report that I had been off on a fabulous adventure, but I was lost amidst sneezes and coughs, hot tea and naps. Just as I thought the bug had left me, it decided to head south to my chest and linger another week. I had no mind to write anything coherent, let alone worthwhile.

I could have predicted that I would get a head and chest cold. You see, DH took a new job, and we had a two week window without health insurance. Of course I woke the first morning without insurance ill. Honey and I had a great many discussions on the health care situation, and just these two weeks reminded me how unfair many of the haves are being in their outright disdain for the have-nots. The stress of worry that it would turn into phnemonia was very real, and the monetary hit we would take was the biggest stresser of all.

I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to have an older daughter. Honey just took the lead and did most of her school on her own. I would lie down for a nap, to wake to a cup of hot tea. She picked up slack on chores and just let me rest through the worst of it.

Poor girl ended up getting the head cold too, so she spent a few days doing the resting and drinking the tea. We made fires and watched movies, which we haven't done in a while.
KingBee was out of town on business, which was a blessing as we just let everything go to just recouperate. Added plus is we did not have to suffer through any reality television as we do when he is here!

I managed to read two books, The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown and Echo in the Bone by Diana Gabaldon. I enjoyed the newest adventure of Robert Langdon a great deal, and would recommend it . I wish I could say the same of Jamie and Claire's latest saga, but the end of the book was so disjointed it seemed as if Gabaldon just tacked a half dozen cliffhangers on the end and stopped because she was bored with it all. A disappointment after two years wait since Breathe of Snow and Ashes.

Last week we were on the upswing, and tried very hard to get caught up. While my cough was ebbing, my mind was much slower in returning to a fully functioning state. I managed to give Honey a chapter test for the wrong chapter in Algebra. She and I were both disappointed with her 80%, and her claim that she didn't even recall learning the process for some of the problems worried us both. As I was entering the grade into the book, I realized that she was due test #4, not #7, and suddenly that 80% looks pretty good! Yikes!

The illness did make me realize a few things though, and as such a few changes have been instituted. Buzz flits in and out of here much like his nickname-sake, but leave behind more mess than honey. It's just not quite fair for the rest of us to be cleaning up after him, when most of his flitting about keeps him from contributing to the family as he used to do.

We discussed it ,and he oddly felt that one of the "womenfolk" should be picking up after him, since he takes the garbage out once a week and is, afterall, in college now. We laughed. Honey reminded him that he might be able to find a wife someday willing to agree to that arrangement, but it certainly would not be her. He is now in charge of his own dishes and cleaning one bathroom, as well as his laundry. I think this will take a lot of tension away between the siblings, and one time-stretched mother.

I finally got caught up on the blog-reader, and though I didn't comment much, it was great to see how everyone is doing. It is so good to be up and moving again!

A Week of Strengh through Sorrows...

I've been purposely absent, as this has been a week full of emotions . Our local homeschooling community was rattled when a mother of 8 passed away due to flu complications last weekend. While I was not close with her, I knew the family well enough to know how impossible this situation is to comprehend .

Beyond my own children's deaths, there is nothing that I fear more than my untimely passing, before we are doing homeschooling and they have begun to make their way in the world. I'm sure I am not alone in this. One begins thinking about all the contingencies, the unfinished business, the wisdom yet to be shared.

It has shaken up a number of the kids as well, including my own dear girl. In her matter of fact way, she has voiced the desire to spend a great deal of time working together to help her prepare for adulthood. I saw the haunted shadow in her eyes when she said "I will never be ready to lose you, but I must be ready to stand alone."

We both woke with head colds on Tuesday, and spent the next two days in a nestled state of napping between reading or movies. We doctored ourselves with soup and hot tea by the fire. And most of all, we truly gained strength in our sorrow from each other.

Our heads are clearing, and our hearts are full of the promise that each new day holds. We are chosing joy over negativity, adventure over apathy. We are off, not to waste on minute with regret.

Healing and Celebrating

This has been of both healing and celebrating. I turned inward for the majority of the week, focusing on my duties as a mom and teacher. HoneyGirl has been struggling with health issues, which peaked this past Tuesday at their worst. After a myriad of tests, we are now keeping her on a dairy free diet, and are seeing results.
We celebrated yesterday with our co-op's "Not Back to School" picnic. We had glorious weather, and over 80 folks turned out! It was an amazing pot luck meal, some great games for the kids. Most of all, it was a great time for the adults to visit and enjoy relaxing together. My heart was welling over, looking at so many homeschooled kids in *their* community, ages pre-K to high school grad (even a few alumni showed up late in the day--such a nice surprise!)

*I took most of my pictures using my film camera, but these are a few from my digital. Honeygirl is below left in hot pink and jeans, with her tell-tale long tresses.

The Practice of Being Present

How often a day do you find yourself driving in the car with one of your children, yet miles away in thought? Do you find yourself trying to review math with your child, while a dozen items of your mental to-do list keep invading your focus? Can you lose yourself worrying about future choices, instead of simply focusing on today?

Being "present" is a huge problem for me. I am sure that it has something to do with trying to juggle too many things at one time, but that isn't the crux of it. The truth is that I often make poor choices with my time that catch up with me later when I end up trying to do five things at a time to ensure I make deadlines. Instead of completing three 20-minute tasks in an alotted hour, I will procrastinate by losing myself in a book, chatting on the phone, lingering on blogger for thrice the time it would have taken. When I should be focused on instruction, I continually lose my thought as the lingering duties are still wafting in my head. I have little patience and am not fully present (not qualities of a great educator!). Later, I will then frustrate myself by trying to complete all the tasks while fulfilling other responsiblities. Stupid!

I've recognized this about myself, and I have been working hard to change it. I really have plenty of time to do the required tasks for my business and everything else in my life I am finding that when I just sit down and do the business tasks at the beginning of my day, before anything else but coffee, my whole persepective changes. I am usually surprised at how quick and simple the work was, and I feel freed to be "present" , whether it is while schooling or playing. As an early riser, there is a significant amount that I can accomplish in the four hours before before 9am.

Instead of interrupting non-office time with work, I am notoriously carrying around a notepad where I jot down reminders of things that need attention. While dinner is cooking, I will review it and take care of any quick concerns (email correspondence, etc) but otherwise, I make a to do list for the next morning. Then I put it all away, not to be looked at until I rise.

The rest of my time I am working very hard at being present for my family and myself. I am noticing dramatic changes immediately in our homeschooling. Honey is understanding her math lessons the first time, which is not at all common . I wonder if my distracted mind was contibuting to her confusion? While she does quite a bit independently, I am making myself mentally available to her throughout. I will address menial tasks, like menu planning or mending, so that when she comes with questions or wanting discussion, I do not struggle to tear myself away from a focused train of thought, giving her partial attention.

Why is this so important? Because I have realized that I have, at times, been a bit of a hypocrite about her education. I claim that nothing is more important to me, yet I am painfully aware at how often I was responding to her inquiries in the quickest fashion possible. How wrong to squash her curiosity or excitement over an insight because I had too much to do!!!

Moreover, I find that we are having dynamic conversations all the time now that I am present. She wants to run errands with me in the afternoons , because we now discuss current events and movies, history and writing. We are having more fun, and I am actually getting more accomplished in every area. I still find in the evenings time to lose myself in a book or hobby, and can enjoy these without residual guilt.

Each day I will strive to live more of my life in the present, for the rewards are great!

A Day To Celebrate!

Yesterday was HoneyGirl's 15th Birthday. It is hard to believe that the years a flying by so quickly. Yet, I am blessed to see such amazing growth and maturity each and everyday. I am relishing each and every day that she is still at home!

Both DH and I realized that the drama of the past weeks (years) has been tremendously unfair to Honey. She isn't a divisive factor in the home, yet has to sit by and watch in frustration as others choose to all around her.

She, KingBee and I had an amazing bonding night on Thursday, where she finally aired all her fears and anger in a safe place. It was both heart-breaking and heart warming to hear her open up to her father.

We both agreed that our family is more important than continuing to fight over the same issues . We want a peaceful home, and HoneyGirl deserves to not be subject to all of this.
We committed to giving Honey one huge gift for her birthday...a home without fighting. DH also gave her an early gift...Bamboo Fun. Its the coolest computer link drawing pad ever (although Staples was carrying it for $99 at hte time)

I then contacted one of her good friends to see if she could spend Saturday with us, and KingBee set out to find a surpise activity. ON her birthday morning, I made her a banner and set out the other gifts. When she woke , I got out hte waffle iron and made her favorite waffles.

We picked up her girlfriend and went shopping a bit. We came home to pick up the boys for the big surprise...indoor go cart racing. Only the girls raced in the junior division. The first race began with trepidation, until they figured out how both the course and cars worked. Then, they really began to pick up speed and confidence. They both had the best time of their lives!

(Buzz has played Speed Racer the day before, getting a huge speeding ticket and points. We decided he need to just watch the girls instead.)

We came home and ordered in chinese food, and they played rock band until very late.
Honey had a wonderful birthday, and we had a great day as a family unit. Here's to a new start!

Should've Knocked on Wood....

I really should have , at least before I wrote the last post. Because all hell broke loose in the house over the weekend. Building drama from Buzz's new friend and behavior choices became a huge battle between hubby and I.

Unfortunately, some really hurtful accusations were madeWe've come to an agreement, but the enormity of the space between my Dh & I over this will take a bit of mending.

Nothing like a lot of drama and heartache days before the opening of the co-op. I struggled to get everything prepared and ready, but I have a great partner (thanks Laurel) and a great team of teachers and helpers. Maybe having something pressing was a good thing, for I had to force myself away from the situation. Somehow, we were able to pull it all together in time.

Our first day of year two went well, considering that we have over 40 additional students. The returning kids were helpful and welcoming, and I believe we will fall into a flow quickly. Next week, we already have over 90 signed up for our "Not Back to School " picnic! Best part, is two of our new moms have organized the entire thing for the group.

I have to say that being back surrounded by friends and students all day was very good for both Honey and I. We know that we have this huge support network, and a few friends that are loyal beyond words no matter how infrequent our visits over the summer. On the ride home , she mentioned that the healthiest thing for she and I is to focus on our year. I wholeheartedly agree. Immersing ourselves in the positive is the best choice right now.

Smooth Sailing Days

Do I dare write about how smooth sailing our week has been? It's been far too lovely to risk jinxing it. Still, I am in such amazement that this smooth sort of week could actually become the new norm here.

I knew there would be a different dynamic with only one child, especially when that one is so easy-going. I wake early, have coffee with correspondence, and put in a few hours of work before my late riser is up. We have breakfast together, and discuss her work. We also discuss current events or concerns before she begins.

At this point, she does a great deal of her work independently. We do math review together for the first two weeks, but I suppose even that will lessen once she begins Teaching Textbooks. I am able to do lesson planning, pay bills, cut coupons, etc. while she works her way through her assignments. We chat and joke in between, but the attitude is the amazing thing. She's happy to be engaged in learning and wants to do well.

Since she is happy and engaged in her learning, she's doing it well. There are no nagging nor quarrels; there is no air of tension. It's awful to admit how much I allowed Buzz's lazy attitude toward school become such a negative in our days. While I don't regret that I held the line of academic standards, I do regret the toll the constant battling took on our days. I mourn the years of time wasted redoing or catching up , because we all missed such opportunities for fun.

Now, it seems, we have a second chance. I am much more relaxed. My whole attitude has changed about the simpliest things. I am able to enjoy planning and cooking meals again, and I found myself singing while washing dishes a number of times this week. Since Honey is one to want to do things right the first time, we have a few hours of found time each day. Even with all my extra work this week, we found time for fun. We watched Prince Caspian and had a book to movie discussion. We took the dogs to the park to play. We grabbed books one afternoon and read until we fell asleep from the crisp breezes.

Honey is focusing on finding some new outlets for herself as well. She had her first meeting iwth a new Venture Crew, and we are both pleased with the leadership and the teens. Next month, she will go white water rafting and on a haunted hayride with them. She's suddenly ready to trade in her ever-present flipflops for a new pair of hiking boots and head off. I like that this crew is older (14-19), most former boy and girl scouts , who just want to get together for some good clean fun and adventure.

Life is good!

Creating A Framework for Discussion Based Course

Sociology has become Honey's more fascinating subject in break-neck time. Each time we venture out of the house, or watch a film, she is keenly aware of cultural/social themes and wants to explore them further.

I have started a journal to record many of these discussions and concepts taught. I quickly realized that my memory has lapsed a great deal since my college sociology class. WHile i believe this discussion format will be most helpful , at least one of us needs to know what they are talking about for it to be a worthwhile endeavor.

I needed to create a framework for our discussions, without hindering the spontaneous interest based learning that is happening. I also needed to give myself a reference point to answer questions and introduce related concepts. As always, I turned to the internet first.

I began by Googling "sociology syllabus" for high school. I came across a number, but this one from an honors soc class in Wisconsin really stood out. I loved how the instructor had not only explained the goals and objectives for the course, but had done so chapter by chapter, outlining the key conepts and essential question. This is could easily incorporate into our dialogues.

I noticed that the course used a college text, Sociology: In our Times. I jumped over to Paperback swap, and quickly requested a copy of the text from there. This will be my reference. I love using college texts, for they usually have excellent online resources from the publisher. This one even has practice student quizzes, that are quite simple to cut and paste into a printable document for use in portfolios.

Additionally, I did a few more searches on "intro to sociology lecture notes" and came up with a couple of helpful sites from professors who have been so kind as to put their notes online. (I'm amazed at how easy this would make the college experience, without trying to guess what material will be expected of you for the exams, but I digress) These are great for me to review before introducing a topic, so that I can explain a key concepts more easily.

The nice thing about this conversational sort of dynamic is that there are no plans set in stone. An idea will arise naturally, we will discuss it. I can refer to these resources to find information or new concepts to add to discussion, deepening understanding. Still, the student continues to steer the ship, ensuring that they will always be engaged with the process.

I find this framework works very well in recording the learning for portfolios. But more importantly, it continually aides the student in keeping learning moving forward. Using a sailing analogy, the captain can't steer without navigation or wind. I provide those, and let her make her own journey.

Book Gem: Sophie's World

A stumbled across the most wonderful book and wanted to share. Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder is a fictional story of a young girl who embarks on a secret course in the history of philosophy through letters. It had been an international best seller, so I threw it in with an order for shiggles.

The idea intriqued me, and I was not disappointed. It is exactly the perfect sort of introduction to philosphy that I wanted for HoneyGirl. The book has a comfortable pace, yet Gaarder's background as a philosophy teacher ensures solid teaching of concepts.

I began reading it alone, and quickly decided to stop and order another copy for Honey. This is the perfect book for reading a chapter at a time, digesting the ideas overnight and discussing over afternoon hike or tea. As one of Honey's personal objectives for the year, this book is ideal for honing the skill of note taking as well. Check it out!

Expanding the Conversation

It seems that this conversation on "cool" has really sparked a fire in Honey. I left early to do some work at the co-op, allowing her to sleep in. When I arrived home yesterday after a morning of work, she had already been outlining some ideas for our lunch discussion on the topic.

Lucky for me I had mentioned the conversation offhandedly to a friend who teaches philosophy at another local college that morning. She suggested I introduce the concept of the bell curve to Honey. When I explained how it works to Honey, and applied it to the concept of intellegence, she was fascinated.

She asks many insightful questions, making sure she understood it thoroughly. She also double checked some of her facts about the education before the public system was put in place. I loved watching her mind digesting everything, between bites.

She was fairly quick to hypothesize that introduction of mandatory public education might the a contributing reason for the twisted concept of cool. I called her to expand and support her hypothesis. She had applied the concept of the bell curve in intellegence, to the fact that mandatory public education meant that not only the brighter, upper half of the curve went to school ,but the lower, less intelligent half. The mass of students was in the middle, the power would lay there. Since the masses would not like feeling stupid or less than those at the upper end, they used their power to develop a way to make themselves feel good about themselves: the concept of cool. They might not be able to change their intellegence, but they could create an artifical concept and make it desirable. Since they did not have the goods to be the best and brightest, they decided to set a simple set of standards that anyone could attain, if they had the nerve to break social standards. That is how "cool" got to be so twisted around.
(I have paraphrased this, deleting from her teenage speech all the "totally"'s and such.)

We took extra time after out appointment to drive through the park a bit, to work through these ideas further. I encouraged her to choose one notebook and start writing some of these ideas out, for her to work through over the year. I love this sort of deductive reasoning. She seemed so excited putting the ideas together as well.

She agreed that we should look into the book and movie recommendations from Jove (Thanks dear! ) . Another friend suggested the movie "The Gods Must Be Crazy," and we are adding that to our idea list. She wants to try to a new approach and add sociology this year, that is heavy on discussion and finding research that supports or disproves our hypothesis. It think it will be a great exercise in critical thinking, and a lot of fun for us both.

As such...any other movie or book suggestions are appreciated.

The Contradictory Concept of "Cool"

One of the many topics of conversation as we lie on the beach was the contradictory concept of "cool." We were watching three girls, around Honey's age, prance and carry on in an utterly ridiculous manner in hopes of gaining the attention of the college boy lifeguards.

"Do those girls not realize how foolish they look, carrying on like that? Don't they know that they are jailbait to those guys?, " Honey asked. We watched as they left the beach, each with matching belly button jewelry and too-tiny bikinis. They were not getting enough attention from these lifeguards, it seems, so felt hte need to conveniently drop something and bend over right in front of them. At the waist. With the thong backs facing them. Gag.

To give the lifeguards credit, they looked down and shook their own heads with disinterest, and just scanned the sea. The girls gave up and stomped back to their towels.

Our conversation then, began in earnest about behaviours that are totally inapporpriate, yet are deemed "cool " by a great part of our culture. We wondered if those lifeguards would have reacted differently if the young teens had been older versions giving the same performance.
The purpose would have been the same...sending a message of willingness to a stranger.

Honey wondered if behaviors were this forward when I was young, and I don't believe they were. We both concluded that the popular media with all its' tween appeal shows depict a certain image and example of bad behavior that is suddenly acceptable . Doesn't hte media understand the by pushing the envelope in what they do, they are also encouraging kids to imitate the same?

My budding sociologist points out she would like to study the twisted concept of "cool" someday. Why are all those activities and behaviors that modern teens view as "cool" in actuality all quite stupid? Smoking pot, drinking to drunkeness, permissive sexuality , and petty law breaking quickly come to mind. Even among those who try to stay away from illegal stuff can still be caught up in the inane superficial trappings of popularity such as clothing, hairstyles, and music trends.

Why aren't the kids who are acing Physics II and earning full ride academic scholarships the cool kids? Why is it so much more desirable to be able to catch a football than design websites? Why is the girl who shakes pom-poms considered so much more popular than the girl who spends her weekends volunteering? Why is more value placed on the ability to use a curling iron than the ability to make a fire without matches and hunt and fish? Why is the kid who has a handful of sexual conquests before he is old enough to vote considered cooler than the one who is waiting until he is mature enough to understand real love before going there?

We expanded our ponderings, thinking about those cultures that really valued ones that education and personal capabilities of self-sufficiency. There definitely seems to be common that in impoverished countries, education and practical skills are of higher value at a younger age. Maybe the reality of true hunger makes people see the bigger picture.

There might be something to the riduculous excess of adolescence, and a too common lack of work ethic instruction that leads to such a perversity in our culture. Honey is fascinated by so many facets of this, wanting to understand the psychology behind this problem. She mentions that she really doesn't understand a lot of the economic terms needed, but would like to learn.

We longer we ponder this contradiction together, the homeschooler in me starts to fan that fire in her. Do I dare step back from all these well laid plans for this year, and guide her toward this further? I offer such, and she shakes her head and smiles. "Mom, this is huge. It will take a LOT more time than a unit study. I'm thinking much bigger. I just want you to make sure that have enough background in economics, geography, sociology, and psych to maybe one day be able to write about all of this. Maybe a paper. Or a book. It might make a really interesting screenplay, if I develop the characters right. "

I smile back. Who knows if she will ever do any of those things? Really, that is not the point. I smile because I love the way she notices the world; how her mind wraps itself around a problem and wants to understand why things are as they are. She wouldn't be wanting fame or even to change the way the world is. She just wants to validate and empower those who are doing all the right things and making the smart choices. Now that really is "cool."

Miraculously Healed by Sea and Sun

The sea has always been the perfect panacea for all that ails me. Again it has worked its' charms on my spirit.

Honey and I had a lovely afternoon. The morning was cool and grey, and we were the only ones on the beach other than a few runners who occassioned passed on their morning trek. Without the sun, the water was too chilly for swimming, yet we waded in anyway. We bundled in the extra towels and beach blankets after, giggling.

Our carpe' diem spirit seemed to please the sun, for it broke through the clouds and graced us with its' warmth, creating the prettiest beach skies we've had in years.
We talked and laughed and dreamed together. We meandered knee-deep in waves, selecting shells and sea rocks that pleased us.

I love this picture of Honey. She is so perfectly Honey in it: full of joy, irreverent, confident, beautiful. I am constantly amazed at her wisdom and center , something I only could have dreamed of possessing at fourteen years young. How blessed I am, to have a daughter that I can laugh with and enjoy with such ease.

After a few short hours, the salty calm of the sea air had cleared the cobwebs from my head. Honey, too, felt it's magical effects . I remember as well, how wonderful it can be through the off season as well. We challenge each other to remember how medicinal the sea and surf can be for us throughout the year. It is so silly that we can find this clarity and be so recharged with little more than a tank of gas, yet we do it so rarely. Honey is already blocking another day trip into the calendar before September is over. Smiles, all around!

Seaside Heights...here we come!

HoneyGirl and I are heading to the beach for the day.

Am I finished lesson planning? Not nearly.

Are all administrative tasks neatly completed? Hardly.

Is my house a mess and the fridge empty? Absolutely.

Do I care about any of that? Not today :)

Back tomorrow with pictures and a sunkissed smile!

Resurfacing and Being

I feel as if I am metaphorically blinking in the sunlight as I emerge from this cave of lesson planning. I've been extremely productive, but totally one-minded. Thank goodness my family is forgiving, for meals have been their responsibility or happenstance at best.

Still, life goes on outside of this . Buzz started college this week, and so far is loving both his professors and classmates. Honey has kept herself busy, first caring for an orphaned bunny that our golden retriever brought in, then reorganizing her closet and drawers. She's been picking up my slack, thankfully, in household chores and such.

I'm finally feeling as if I have topped the mountain of work, as it was, and am now on the downward slope. I have 85% of two co-op classes planned out, with only 15% of the third accomplished. Today, I shall put my nose to the grindstone once more to get the majority of work for the class behind me.

I still have promises to keep. HoneyGirl wants a day at the beach. I want to use my gift certificate for a massage. We both want to try some recipes together, and take a field trip to finish astronomy. We need some concentrated time together to organize her studies for her freshman year.

Most importantly, is we want some time to just "be" , before all the activities and lessons start for this year. There is nothing like the purposeful and ever-present state of "being" to center oneself. For much of the year, I walk around divided and distracted, thinking of all the things that need to be handled next. This leads to all sorts of anxiety and stress, and stops me from fully enjoying the present.

I realize that merely "being" is a choice, just like being happy. I want to be present in my own life, with my family , and with my friends. "To be or not to be" has taken on a whole new meaning for me.

Sequestering Myself...

I can no longer ignore the calendar. I am terribly far behind in lesson planning for the three classes that I teach in the fall. Anxiety is starting to set in. I know that I need to have around 80% of the year mostly planned so that I can manage my heavy schedule during the year. Right now, I am at varying stages of 15-20% in each one. Not good.

As such, I am sequestering myself next week for lesson planning. I can knock it all out, and still have a few weeks before co-op starts to settle back into a rhythm without anything hanginig over my head.

Check back with you all then....

Reality Hits: College Freshman

Buzz and I had an invitation to a meet and greet program at the community college last night for the Honors Scholarship students. There were a dozen or so faculty on hand, both administrative and teaching. A handful of sophmore honors scholars were on hand, as well as a few graduates of the program. Even the dean of the college was there to welcome the kids to the program.

The growth at our local community college has been huge, with over 3000 kids attending daytime classes. The speaker pressed the point that the 22 selected for the honors program are their "best and brightest". Each student was called up on stage and introduced to the group, telling their background, interests, and goals. I was amazed at how many homeschooled kids were among the group. At every opportunity, they drew out the similarities of interests/goals between the different kids. Within the first hour, they were creating a team atmosphere for these kids.

The advisor in charge of the program spoke. The honors scholars program is designed to track these twenty-two, along with last year's returning sophmores intensely. They will have three cohort classes together (honors seminar, philosophy, speech) , in addition to their
specific freshman math and english and elective. The second semester will be the same, with the cohort classes focusing on English, Sociology, and honors research skills. They are set up on study teams together, as well as taking part in special events throughout the year.

The concept is remarkable, really. These kids become a team, creating initial built in support from the beginning. People from the academic help center were there, explaining about math lab and english tutoring opportunities for even the bright students. The honors profs were all there, meeting and kids and asking questions to really get to know them personally from the first minute.

We broke up for a picnic. A gentlemen approached us who had the coolest job title ever -Dean of Student Success. He was endearing and supportive, and he and Buzz immediately clicked. He invited Buzz to visit him anytime, whether stressed or excited or just wanting sugar (he keeps a stash of candy in his office.) It was amazing to sit and watch the faculty working among the tables of students, truly excited to get to know them.

The freshman (OMG!) went off after the meal to discuss their summer reading assignment, To Kill A Mockingbird. Buzz told me they immediately dove into literary analysis of the book, and he was thankful that he had taken that class this year and could hold his own. (Thanks Mrs. Wenson!). Then, a few of the sophmores spoke and forewarned them of the rigors of the program, the importance of time management, and told them of how much fun studying together can be. Pizza definitely becomes a fifth food group, as I remember well.

Meanwhile, the parents got more indepth info on the special services provided, such a college and major search for transferring. They offer their skills to help the kids find the career/school that would be best suited them. Hearing them talk about former students, groups, it was easy to see that these folks are truly invested in the kid's success as well. Moreover, they meet with the kids frequently, trying to trouble shoot any potential problems on any level along the way.

We left and Buzz had a reserved excitement. He had met some great kids already, and realizes now what a great opportunity it will be to have a built in peer group on his first day. I'm so excited for him. The reality has hit... we've got a college freshman in the house!!!

Course conundrum= Character Building

HoneyGirl is a planner. Last spring, she wanted to sit down and plot out her high school plan, making sure to include the courses that our state requires and known electives that she wanted to take in 9th grade. She decided that while she is undecided about her future career goals, she does want to give herself the option to graduate early or start art classes at hte community college her senior year.

As such, she elected to add a half credit science in the summers. A half-credit science can be earned hourly, and at 60 hours, is fairly easy to attain over a summer . Mind you, this was HER idea. We developed a well-suited curriculum of reading, online research, DVDs, labs, and field work.

The problem? Honey has realized she has little interest in astronomy at an in-depth level, once all is said and done. All the geometry, physics and star charts don't spark her imagination; they give her a headache. She has already logged 42 of the needed 60 hours. Hence the conundrum.

She wanted to discuss the situation late last night, and asked me to help her weigh the options. One one hand, she has 18 more hours to face in a subject she finds less palatable than lima beans to finish. She could easily quit now, and no harm done, as this was an elective fourth science and not required to graduate.

On the other hand, she recognizes the waste of all the work she has put in, and wonders if in future years she will regret not having that extra cushion. She wonders at what point is it worth just trudging through something distasteful to ust accomplish it, if it may later provide the freedom to pursue something wonderful.

I was both awed and reassured to watch her work all of this out for herself. More and more, I find her turning to me long before making a bad choice. She is a thinker who approaches life with open consideration of all outcomes. I am careful to not tell her what choices to make any longer, but act rather as a sounding board.

I instead asked her questions. What is it that you would then be doing with the extra hour a day? Would these eighteen hours be view as less of a sacrifice in a future summer when you are working or have great opportunities? Would these hours be easier to put in during a school term, on top of your other studies? Are you willing to just step back and have only the three required sciences?

I added also that I do not have any wish for her in this choice other than that she has thought it through completely. I don't really think it is necessary , but it wasn't my four year plan. If she had felt this way the first few weeks in, I would have encouraged her to drop it. But now it is also a bit of a character issue in play. How will she feel if she quits, so close to the end? Will it be defeating ?

She woke EARLY this morning, apparently with it on her mind. We talked over 5:30a toast. She has decided that she wants to see this through, because she really has nothing but time the rest of this summer. She would regret quitting in the end. Still, she wondered if we can limit the physics/ rocket science aspects and focus more on history and theories, or add in more practical labs. I suggested we add a few DVDs with great images.

I sent her back to bed for a few hours more of sleep, while I sit proud and grateful of the woman she is becoming. I think I'll help her out and see what I can find online or on netflix for today's lesson!

Where Have All the Good Girls (and Boys) Gone?

I am afraid I am going to reveal myself as somewhat old-fashioned with this post, but I have been deeply troubled lately with the lack of morality and respect between teenagers and the opposite sex. I am more troubled with the utter lack of self-respect owned my most teens.

I will start with a little story, quite typical. A certain teenaged boy I know was at a carnival. He spies a cute girl, and begins flirting. They exchange cell phone numbers. They text incessantly for a day or two. By week's end, they are going on a date and are "committed" boyfriend/girlfriend. Said boy shows his sister a picture of the girl, but sister is appalled. It is a body shot from the neck down of the girl in a bikini. Sister wonders about her expected response: "What do you want me to say? Nice rack?"

I admit that I know nothing of this girl, her upbringing or family. All I know for sure is that before knowing a boy a week, she is sending photos over the cell phone that objectify herself and key up the sexual aspects of a potential new relationship. The action alone screams two words to me: needy and sleazy. Said boy defends this behaviour as extremely common and "normal." "Girls do it all the time" I'm told. Then he grins like the horndog he is becoming and goes back to texting her.

I suppose he is correct that it is both common and normal for most teenagers today. And how very SAD is that reality. Worse still is the fact that most parents have just given over to this and are passively approving it, because that's "what kids do nowadays." My own husband's first reaction was to give an "attaboy" response.

There are so many facets of this issue that have been floating around my head. There is the psychological aspect : such an overwhelming need for love and approval that is based on sex. This is not a new story; there have always been those girls that are known to be "easy". Still, they had usually been the minority and were easy to pick out. Somehow, the tables got turned, and the minority are those who are those who don't have half-naked pictures of themselves on MySpace. Technology is giving kids the means to exploit themselves in ways never considered before.

I'm also bothered by the social double standard present in my home. When asked if he would view such an action "normal" if his sister did the same, both father and son became incensed at the thought. I further pressed to see how they would feel about other teenage boys who press sister to send photos of herself like that, since it is "common" and "normal" and "what everybody does nowadays." Both were vehement about the idea of that happening, and furious at the thought of any boy requesting such a thing from her. I find it ironic that they just never noticed the hypocrisy of it.

Honey and I talked long about her frustrations with the other side of this situation. She meets a great deal of boys, both in real life and through online gaming. She has astutely begun classifying boys in three categories. There are those who are just raging perverts from the get-go; there are those who show a good front for a week or two and then let their inner pervert show. There is that last third that have the potential to be gentlemen, and actually want to get to know her as a person and become her friend first.

She finds it pretty sad that because so many other girls have so little self-respect, she has to deal with so many of the first two types. She's been called a prude, according to society's standards, because she's romantically saving her first kiss for someone worthy. It's even making it difficult to find and keep quality girlfriends, as she doesn't want to be associated with girls that are constantly getting drunk or have a reputation. She often comes to me baffled as to why so few parents are accepting this sort of standard in their kids; why do they not notice?
How can they be too busy to care if their child has become a cyber-whore?

I try to recall my youth, and I realize that the same issues were going on, but on a much more secretive scale. I am quite certain that most teenage boys fantasized about Playboy bunnies at one time or another. The difference is that the girl sitting next to them in geometry didn't send them a photo of herself posed as one. There was still some sort of mystery about the people you dated, and social rules of appropriate behavior. (Never kiss on the first date; don't try for 2nd base until at least a month of dating,etc.). It wasn't until going away to college that most people loosed the morals of their youth and tested different waters. We all lived double lives, keeping our escapades from our parents out of respect.

As a parent of one entering college, I know that I can't force my morality on him. At the same time, I don't feel that I have to approve of it and have it in my home. I might be really liberal in many of my views, but I am just not "cool" enough to tolerate a parade of rotating trollops through my house.

The sad part is, I am really not a prude. I know my kids are going to date, and I am realistic that they will most likely not get married as virgins. I just hate that it is old-fashioned to hope that they actually developed relationships with people based on common interests and attraction , instead of someone with a hot body that they barely know. I now understand what my sister-in-law meant when she said she was happier not knowing anything about the girls until a relationship was serious enough to bring one home to the family.

And then I have to pray that Honey is able to maintain her clear thinking, and avoid kissing a lot of toads before finding a prince who will appreciate a girl with self-respect. Sigh...it was so much easier when they were little!!!

Homeschooling the Only...

It hit me this week that I will now be homeschooling only one child. Obviously, I *KNEW* it as I celebrated Buzz's graduation and all that it entailed. But I had not slowed down enough to truly wrap my head around it until this week.

I can do more than just select/create curriculum matched to the child's learning styles and desires. For the first time ever, we have the opportunity to create a lifestyle geared toward optimal learning for this child. I am no longer dividing my time between activities for two, planning trips that both would enjoy, etc. I finally have more time for my own pursuits, without having to give up every moment of free time. Valhalla!

HoneyGirl I and spent a lot of time pondering this exciting idea last week. She was home from camp, and needing to recover from a knee injury. I needed to get to work on lesson plans for my ancient world studies class. We had thought of starting back into astronomy and pre-algebra review, but decided to put it off.

Instead I suggested that she spend some time coming up with ideas of activities and field trips she would like to explore. I did the same. I also suggested that she come think about a loose daily schedule for herself .

Yesterday we packed a lunch and headed to our favorite park and shared our ideas. She would like to investigate a local theatre group outside hte co-op that does straight theater, as she prefers it to the musicals. She wants to look into youth group at a local Methodist church that she heard is quite large and rich with activities. We are going to look into Venture Crews a little further, to find one that fits and has another girl in it! And she wants help setting up some sort of health/ training schedule.

Field trips are still pretty open though. She wants to do a lot of museums and plays. She loves the beach, and wants to make some day trips there. I'd like to add in some other trips that add to our ancient history studies, as well as some just for fun. If any of you on the east coast have any ideas of quirky local festivals or places to visit...please feel free to share. We have the added blessing that Buzz is going to college locally, and offered to be responsible for dog care if we need to do an overnight somewhere.

I am thrilled to realize that I have time again to add a book club to my schedule again. I love the sharing of ideas about books with others. A new yarn shop opened up, and I am going to look into their classes, as I have time to knit and crochet again as well. As much as I love giving myself to my kids, I am now happily discovering many options for the found time of homeschooling only one.

I'm so excited to be entering this new phase....

A new concept--the Birthday Week...

I love making a big deal about birthdays for those around me. I've always enjoyed creating special meals, activities, and theme parties for my kids. I adore shopping for the perfect gift for friends. But I have never felt the same way about my own birthday. Not really being a martyr here; I am just better at giving than receiving.

When we realized that HoneyGirl was going to be at camp over my birthday, I realized that I actually had begun to look forward to the special little things she always did for my day. She has the same desire to celebrate with the ones she loves that I do, and always made it a point to make me breakfast , and pick out my favorite videos or take me to a favorite park. The boys always remember to give me good wishes (eventually), but it just doesn't have the same flavor.


Honey hadn't realized the overlap until the week before camp, and was quite bothered by it. She made me promise to call a friend and at least make a lunch date for the day. Before day before she went to camp, she asked me to drive her to the store to pick up my gift. For years I have wanted a cast iron dutch oven. Honey remembered, and bought me a blue one from Martha Stewart collection.

Then she sat me down and gave me direct instructions to have a birthday week. I was lectured on all I do for everyone else, all the time. She forewarned me of how short the summer is, and that life will be busy again before we know it. And that I need to take as much relaxation time as I can this week. Then, she made me PROMISE that I would do so. (how well she knows me!)

I am so glad I listened to her. On Monday, I had a lovely lunch with my girlfriend Tam at our favorite Mexican restaurant that no one else in my family enjoys. That evening, KingBee and I picked up the new Mazda CX-7, and found out that we got another 1,500 off in unexpected additional rebates. My dear friend Laurel must have secretly sent out an email to the co-op families about my birthday, as I recieved at least twenty email cards full of love and good wishes.

On Tuesday, I met dear Laurel for morning shopping, and I was ready to head home to lesson plan. But another friend called on the way home, and I remembered HoneyGirl's directive. Instead of my usual "I wish I could but I'm too busy," I said "That would be fun!". We had a lovely visit, and she took me out for Chinese buffet. As we sat laughing, I realized that my daughter really has wisdom beyond her years. I need this kind of thing!

On Wednesday, I slept in. I chose to divide my day between relishing "Journey to the Center of the Earth" and organizing the curriculum corner in the basement. I even went to Target and splurges on a new shelving unit and storage totes (that stuff is fun for me, geek that I am!) Buzz was kind enough to help me haul all the unwanted stuff to the car for donation for me.
Yesterday was a lovely mix of reading and laundry...and totally stress free. The bonus came with a special gifty from my adopted little sister, Michele, straight from California.

Now that I am totally into this idea, today will be another relaxing one. Buzz will be away for the weekend, so KingBee is planning a date surprise for tonight . Tomorrow we pick HoneyGirl up early from camp. The week's celebration will end tomorrow evening at my 25th class reunion, which I will attend happily with my best friend of equal years ,and leave the husbands at home!

I definitely have to remember to do something extra nice for my girl on her birthday!

Shatner Reads Palin's Farewell Address

I heard this on Sirius today, and about wet my pants while driving.

For those needing a chuckle...enjoy a deep belly laugh as William Shatner recites Sarah Palin's farewell ramblings on Conan O'Brien. Can anyone really be serious when they say she is the future of the Republican party? Oy veh!

Am I missing something with this Facebook craze?

Months ago, I inadvertantly opened a Facebook account to view online photographs of a teen event the kids had attended. I had no intention of doing anything much with it, after all, I am perfectly happy as a blogger. But each week, I would open my email to more and more "friend" requests. Some were folks I knew from co-op, and some were people I had gone to high school with 25 years ago.

I ignored most of them until a month or so ago, when all the buzz about my 25th Reunion was in the air and I wanted to see who all was attending. A few ladies I know locally kept telling me I "would love it" once I gave it a real go, telling me how addicting it becomes. So, I set out to visit my "Wall" once a day for two weeks, thinking that would be a fair sampling.

I have to admit that I just don't get it. Facebook that is. I do not understand the appeal at all.
I don't even enjoy reading my "Wall" because it is filled with comments about the most unimportant blathering. Why would anyone be drawn to comments like "I'm so bored" "Just fed the cat and now to watch rerun of "Friends" ? Do you really think anyone out there cares which Twilight Vampire you are most like? It was interesting to read the profiles of high school friends to catch up, and even though I would be happy to see them at the reunion, I don't want to have online pillow fights or play Mafia Wars with them.

The thing that really baffles me is the amount of time many of these folks spend posting all this silly stuff. I can't help but think that they must be terribly lonely to need to cast random opinions to the wind in one sentence shots twenty times a day. Call someone up and have them over for iced tea, and have a real converstation!

Maybe I am just way too busy, or maybe that I value quality relationships too much. Maybe I am just a snob after blogging and having such a great sharing of ideas with so many. Possibly, I am a merely an arrogant jerk. No matter...two weeks of daily Facebook has not caused any addiction like symptoms. I liken the experience more to hives-unwanted and annoying.

I suppose I should mention that I was pushed over the edge by a near stalker like experience. My ex-husband found me on Facebook, wanting to see me to give me a book my mother had given me with a personal note inside. I didn't respond, as he has been very creepy about our break-up over 15 years ago...still talking about me to mutual acquaintences. Plus, he was really self-important and not someone I want thinking he can step into my life now.

He, being as crass as ever, took it upon himself to track me down, and showed up unannounced at my door with the book. He never thought general rules applied to him, so I guess this is why he didn't wait for my response. As I looked at this book I got very uncomfortable. Why would he keep a book of poetry "To My Wonderful Daughter" for 15 years and through two moves? We know lots of the same people, and he could have easily handed it on to one of them to give me at any point. I mentioned this as I thanked him curtly, and he seemed to get the point that I was not going to invite him in to visit.

Yeah folks, I am so outta there!

Revisiting Classic Literature

Any quest for relaxation must involve books, at least for me. Yet, when I searched the thinned shelves (after my purging donation of over 1000 books last spring), I was at a bit of a loss. I took a trip to the bookstore, armed with gift cards, and was confounded. While I enjoy contemporary fiction occassaionally, this summers offerings were such typical romantic tales that bore me, and there was nothing new in the historical fiction of interest either. Turning to paperbackswap, I used a few credits to get "March" by Geraldine Brooks, a fictional account of the father's tale in Little Women; and "Hill Country" by Janice Woods Windle, a semi-biographical account of her grandmother's life on the range and political arenas of Texas in the 1900s. I made quick work of both of those.

Then, Buzz got his summer reading assignment of Harper Lee's "To Kill A Mockingbird." I had donated my tattered ex-library copy earlier in the year, and was thankful for an excuse to pick up a nice hardcover for our home. Buzz asked me the general theme, and while I remembered the basics, I realized I had forgotten a great deal since I had first read it when 14-15 yrs old. A pitcher of sun tea and a day in the sun later, I was thrilled that I had decided to revisited this amazing classic to see it through new eyes.

One subtheme that I delight in, yet had totally forgotten, is Lee's utter disdain for the establishment of public education. She illustrates how Scout is reprimanded by her teacher in first grade for having the audacity to already know how to read and write with such biting humor that I sat laughing as I read. "All the smartest people I know where taught at home; I just don't understand why I need to be shipped off to school ?" is the repeated question of the youngest Finch child. I find it interesting that Lee was able to see the flaws and hypocrisy of the system long before standardized tests and "No Child Left Behind."

Another subtheme I surely missed as a youth, but relish as a parent, is the strong conviction with which the Finch children were raised. Sure, they spent their days running about with freedom and little supervision, yet there was such a definite sense of right and wrong. This is illustrated so directly when Jem looses his temper on his cantankerous neighbor's flower bed. He was certainly antagonized, yet still his father made him endure hours of unpleasant retribution reading to this woman. What a lesson in character training!!

Most importantly, I had forgotten the poignancy in Lee's tale. A good man of the wrong color is falsely accused and convicted of a crime in the South. The theme is pretty common of that period, yet Lee creates such deep and contradictory characters that cause the reader to really feel the injustice. I am definitely adding this to Honey's reading list as well...what great discussions to be had in analyzing it!

Next, I am revisiting Jules Verne "Journey to the Center of the Earth."