I've been purposely absent, as this has been a week full of emotions . Our local homeschooling community was rattled when a mother of 8 passed away due to flu complications last weekend. While I was not close with her, I knew the family well enough to know how impossible this situation is to comprehend .
Beyond my own children's deaths, there is nothing that I fear more than my untimely passing, before we are doing homeschooling and they have begun to make their way in the world. I'm sure I am not alone in this. One begins thinking about all the contingencies, the unfinished business, the wisdom yet to be shared.
It has shaken up a number of the kids as well, including my own dear girl. In her matter of fact way, she has voiced the desire to spend a great deal of time working together to help her prepare for adulthood. I saw the haunted shadow in her eyes when she said "I will never be ready to lose you, but I must be ready to stand alone."
We both woke with head colds on Tuesday, and spent the next two days in a nestled state of napping between reading or movies. We doctored ourselves with soup and hot tea by the fire. And most of all, we truly gained strength in our sorrow from each other.
Our heads are clearing, and our hearts are full of the promise that each new day holds. We are chosing joy over negativity, adventure over apathy. We are off, not to waste on minute with regret.
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5 comments:
Oh... I am so terribly sorry to read this. My heart really goes out to that family and your homeschool community. It's fortunate that your sniffles were brief – giving you just enough time to work through the emotions, it seems.
How shocking and sad. Your girl seems like such a sweet, mature teen.
How sad. You're right, it is my number two fear in life. And then my number three fear, still, as an adult, is that my own mom will die and I won't know how to go on without her wisdom and help in my life. It's hard to face the fact that we all will die, but if we face it well it may help us live a better life, treasuring the time we have.
Your daughter is absolutely amazing. (((HUGS)))
That poor family :-( I share the same fear as you. We were just talking about it last night, actually. I also worry about my dd having to give up homeschooling - for although my family say they would TRY, I know how much hard work it would be for them. So she would lose everything. Oh dear, now I'm going to cry.
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