The Contradictory Concept of "Cool"

One of the many topics of conversation as we lie on the beach was the contradictory concept of "cool." We were watching three girls, around Honey's age, prance and carry on in an utterly ridiculous manner in hopes of gaining the attention of the college boy lifeguards.

"Do those girls not realize how foolish they look, carrying on like that? Don't they know that they are jailbait to those guys?, " Honey asked. We watched as they left the beach, each with matching belly button jewelry and too-tiny bikinis. They were not getting enough attention from these lifeguards, it seems, so felt hte need to conveniently drop something and bend over right in front of them. At the waist. With the thong backs facing them. Gag.

To give the lifeguards credit, they looked down and shook their own heads with disinterest, and just scanned the sea. The girls gave up and stomped back to their towels.

Our conversation then, began in earnest about behaviours that are totally inapporpriate, yet are deemed "cool " by a great part of our culture. We wondered if those lifeguards would have reacted differently if the young teens had been older versions giving the same performance.
The purpose would have been the same...sending a message of willingness to a stranger.

Honey wondered if behaviors were this forward when I was young, and I don't believe they were. We both concluded that the popular media with all its' tween appeal shows depict a certain image and example of bad behavior that is suddenly acceptable . Doesn't hte media understand the by pushing the envelope in what they do, they are also encouraging kids to imitate the same?

My budding sociologist points out she would like to study the twisted concept of "cool" someday. Why are all those activities and behaviors that modern teens view as "cool" in actuality all quite stupid? Smoking pot, drinking to drunkeness, permissive sexuality , and petty law breaking quickly come to mind. Even among those who try to stay away from illegal stuff can still be caught up in the inane superficial trappings of popularity such as clothing, hairstyles, and music trends.

Why aren't the kids who are acing Physics II and earning full ride academic scholarships the cool kids? Why is it so much more desirable to be able to catch a football than design websites? Why is the girl who shakes pom-poms considered so much more popular than the girl who spends her weekends volunteering? Why is more value placed on the ability to use a curling iron than the ability to make a fire without matches and hunt and fish? Why is the kid who has a handful of sexual conquests before he is old enough to vote considered cooler than the one who is waiting until he is mature enough to understand real love before going there?

We expanded our ponderings, thinking about those cultures that really valued ones that education and personal capabilities of self-sufficiency. There definitely seems to be common that in impoverished countries, education and practical skills are of higher value at a younger age. Maybe the reality of true hunger makes people see the bigger picture.

There might be something to the riduculous excess of adolescence, and a too common lack of work ethic instruction that leads to such a perversity in our culture. Honey is fascinated by so many facets of this, wanting to understand the psychology behind this problem. She mentions that she really doesn't understand a lot of the economic terms needed, but would like to learn.

We longer we ponder this contradiction together, the homeschooler in me starts to fan that fire in her. Do I dare step back from all these well laid plans for this year, and guide her toward this further? I offer such, and she shakes her head and smiles. "Mom, this is huge. It will take a LOT more time than a unit study. I'm thinking much bigger. I just want you to make sure that have enough background in economics, geography, sociology, and psych to maybe one day be able to write about all of this. Maybe a paper. Or a book. It might make a really interesting screenplay, if I develop the characters right. "

I smile back. Who knows if she will ever do any of those things? Really, that is not the point. I smile because I love the way she notices the world; how her mind wraps itself around a problem and wants to understand why things are as they are. She wouldn't be wanting fame or even to change the way the world is. She just wants to validate and empower those who are doing all the right things and making the smart choices. Now that really is "cool."