Juxtaposition....

The second day of the IEP process was better. The psychologist is just so supportive, and gave her a wonderful pep talk before beginning again. Honey, while still uncomfotable with being so vulnerable about her disabilities, is now trusting that the trial will be worth it in the end. And so we press on, for more sessions next week. Her perserverence amazes me for one so young, as she said, "Sometimes I am just going to have to step up and take on really difficult things, because in the end I am only helping myself. "

My DH arrived home late afternoon from another stint out-of-state. It was wonderful to just sit down together over a meal and really catch up on everything. It was only the three of us, so Honey was able to share her trials of the week and have his full attention. His encouragement and praise on her hard work and attitude was exactly the prescription she needed. She hugged and kissed us both, and went off to play on her computer.

The timing was perfect as Scout flew in, wanting to talk. He and a few of his cronies have decided that they want to drop out of the honors program. "The reality is that it's just a lot of hard work and it's just bringing down our GPA's, and the professors are idiots."

Both DH and I looked at each other. It was one of those wonderful moments where we did not need to discuss our views privately before a decision. We took turns outlining all the reasons that was NOT an option. His GPA is not suffering because the course work is too great, but because doing the work is interferring with fun. Dropping out of the honors program at the community college will not reflect positively when he tries to apply to transfer schools.

DH pointed out all the ways in which his focus on poor choices (procrastinating, partying, girlfriends, and general screwing around) could have been tempered toward greater success. He countered that a bunch of his buddies were dropping out, and he wanted to hang out with them more. DH did raise his voice here, as choosing to be a follower, especially one making poor choices, is something we don't abide. "You're not going to drop out just so you have more time to play Guitar Hero with a bunch of num-nuts."

A bigger and continuing issue is his arrogance in calling all these professors idiots. He's criticized the assignemtns, the readings, the lectures, the course work, and the grading. DH pointed out that he is again transferring the same attitude that he had toward me as teacher onto them. I enjoyed the colorful imagery he provided of a bunch of self-important piss ants disrespecting someone with far more experience and education, I must say.

I pointed out that he may have no idea what he will gain from each class until years later, and that the work only becomes more challenging as he moves forward. Moreover, why does he feel entitled to have it easy? Scout was not happy, and not in full agreement of our opinions. Still, he accepted our position without further argument.

When we were again alone, my DH and I shared a wonderful moment. The juxtaposition of having one brilliantly gifted child who feel justified to squander opportunities away, and one learning challenged child who is willing to do anything to simply have the possibility of the same opportunity. After all these years, he was able to see the unfairness of it all, and understand how this truth affected all of our interactions. Years of anger and blame melted away.

And I can tell you, it felt like Christmas.