I've been a bit reflective of late. One of the things I have been musing about most is our overwhelming focus on prowess. That obsessive idea that one must be skilled in all things, or at least striving to become skilled.
I overheard a conversation last week with HoneyGirl and some of her friends. One family had set up weekly homeschool ice skating at a local outdoor rink and was trying to convince others to take part. Honey was game to try, but the others didn't want to go because they had no skills and would be embarrassed. Honey, wise as ever, told them to come anyway becuase stumbling around together is half the fun.
At the time, I was more focused on how Honey spun a response that encouraged. But the more I thought about it, I realized how pervasive this fear of showing mediocrity has become in our society. Kids embarrassed to try something as fun as recreational ice skating?
A few months back, I stumbled across a quote from Chesterton that I pinned by my desk, "Whatever is worth doing is worth doing badly."
I wanted to remind myself to focus on the process and not on the product as much. I admit that I have strong perfectionist tendencies that if left unchecked can run rampant.
Thank goodness I have such a sensible daughter. A few months ago, Honey picked up Buzz's long abandoned guitar and started fiddling with it. I immediately started checking around for a guitar teacher, and thought I was giving her great news when I told her I set up lessons. She squarely told me that she wasn't ready to make that commitment yet, and would rather just take her time and enjoy herself learning at her own pace. Wow!
For her, it is all about the process. She could care less about becoming an accomplished player at this time.
There is so much joy to be had in trying things. I never quite got the knack for spinning, but I loved trying it. Just as I loved learning to knit, though I am certain I will not have the time or focus to progress beyond beginner level for quite a while. I want to try snowshoeing and kayaking, and I doubt I'll be very successful at either. But the joy is in the attempt.
I think we need to work extra hard to remind our children of this. Lessons and training are fine, as long as they do not become the vehicle that saps the adventure out of living. Moreover, we need to set the example for our kids in doing things we aren't especially skilled doing, for the pure pleasure of it!
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6 comments:
What a great post. Lou has picked up a dulcimer and is noodling around with it. I think part of the joy is that she doesn't *have* to.
Wise words, indeed.
Noodling around, as Sarah so aptly put it, is a great way to have fun and learn at the same time.
Great insight. And you are right that this is something we need to be more aware of as a culture.
BTW, snowshoeing is not hard. It is just walking. The snowshoes are a bit clumsy but the point is just to be able to walk in deep snow without sinking so far. If you get snow in your area that makes your normal hike through the woods difficult, then you might want to try snowshoes for that.
This is such a wise post, and exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I tend to be "potential-focussed" rather than "process-focussed", and it gets in the way of growth towards a truer, bigger potential.
I wish I had been half as self-aware and assertive as Honey is when I was that age. :-)
Thank goodness you do have a sensible daughter! I'm glad she inspired you to write this post. Just wonderful.
As a person who tends not to succeed in many endeavors I need to be reminded that it is okay to just enjoy trying.
"Whatever is worth doing is worth doing badly."
Love that quote.
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