There is something about autumn that focuses my natural rhythms toward nesting. I scheduled a day off work on Saturday just to really clean the bedrooms, doing the under and behind places where litters of dust puppies lie. Honey and I switched out the summer and winter closets and drawers, airing out the woolen and down. We also donated at car load of outdated or too small clothing that I have determined none of us will wear again.
The guys did nesting chores as well, cleaning and emptying the fireplace and ash pit. THey restacked firewood to prepare for the next load. They prepped the cars, refilling washer fluid and checking oil and batteries.
We all spent some time cleaning one assigned areas; this week it was the bedrooms. For years now, I have done the opposite of spring cleaning. It just makes sense to have a newly cleaned and organized home just before you are going to be spending so much more time inside. This week we will tackle the kitchen, dining and living rooms, and the kids will do the bathrooms. A friend is remodeling her office, and offered me her three-yr old IKEA furniture, so if I can make it fit, I will also be setting up a new office for myself.
Our big project will come the last week of October, when we tackle the basement. The need to have a family room again has become overwhelming with two teenagers. We are getting rid of the weight bench that is used only to air dry comforters of late, as well as excess office furniture from when my DH hasa large office at home. We've been saving up, and will hit Craigs list to shop for some used furniture, and get the kids set for winter as well.
To get all this done, of course, we are stepping away from field trips for a few weeks. We wake and focus on getting school and office work done at a leisurely pace during the day. We've taken to using the evenings to do errands, something we had gotten out of the habit of doing when the kids had nighttime activities. The dogs are even enjoying the change of scenery by walking at dusk, and we are sleeping better for the fresh evening air.
Life is good, and this hectic pace will slow down in November as we turn inward to home and hearth. Which is a very, very good thing!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Friends, Romans, Countrymen....
I am still entranced with the wonderful performance of Julius Caesar we saw yesterday at Willpower Shakespeare Festival at DeSales University. It challenged the senses, as the scenery was Roman, the speech was Elizabethian English, and the costumes were modern day business suits and military fatigues. The actors were professionals, and as such, did a fabulous job. (sorry folks, but I am a bit of a snob about most high schools attempting Shakespeare...the weak acting usually distracts one from Shakespeare's powerful use of words.)
Before the show, however, our teens were treated to a variety of workshops given by the actors. HoneyGirl's group did one that focused on characterization through body movement. Her second workshop was called "Words before Blows: The Power of Persuasion" , and discussed how Shakespeare used tools of rhetoric and the actors used emphasis to stir the crowds. I was thrilled to have them teach these kids about pathos, ethos, and logos in arguments , and the kids all embraced it quickly. Other workshops offered were "Stage Combat: The Illusion of Violence" and "To Stir Men's Blood: Words as Weapons." The groups that took part in those were equally thrilled.
Best of all, we met up with old friends and new and were able to have a leisurely lunch on the beautiful campus . For the first time, Honey is actually considering what the college experience can offer beyond classes, and the idea of living on campus is met with a smile. Yes, it was raelly one of those golden days!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Psychology of a Healthy Homeschool
I've been working on a paper lately, that I hope to turn into a presentation for various homeschool conferences. I was initially very excited to work on the topic. I know that many parents get so locking into an idea of what homeschooling needs to be without looking at their child's needs , and hoped to use various Myers-Briggs models as the basis to expound on various concepts.
Another key issue I often advise on is the lack of direction toward future goals . There are some skills that are basic and should be worked through solidly (how to write a five paragraph essay; maths needed to balance a checkbook, figure interest,etc; etc). I want to incorporate those skills needed for success, working them within them into the various models as well.
I have a solid start ,but the more I write, the more I am wondering if I am missing the mark here. I know a great many homeschooling families, and one of the biggest challenges to success is the baggage the homeschooling parent is bringing into the homeschool from their own life.
We have all seen it, even in ourselves at times. We either follow the same unhealthy patterns from our own childhoods, or overcompensate for them to a negative degree. Or , many feel begin to regret the years given to child-rearing and homeschooling, and begin to step away from their children's true needs to pursue their own. (this is not to say that pursuing one's own needs is bad, only when one does it at the expense of the child. If you can't find time to teach them at home, then do the right thing and send them elsewhere for an education!)
The dilemna is not in identifying the ways in which we bring our own issues into the homeschool.
Those who struggled for friends fret and worry about their children, often pushing their child into every social opportunity that presents itself while dropping the ball on the teaching of the simplest of skills. Those who were high achievers misinterpret the artistic soul of their child as laziness. Those who are insecure in their ability to teach become so regimented that their homeschool is completely devoid of fun. Or those who enroll their children in every available academic opportunity all week long because they do not wish to be home with them to help create a learning lifestyle .
The problem is rather who to identify these archetypes and discuss them in a way that will encourage the listener to look at their homeschool objectively. I know women who fit each of these and more, yet I realize that they do not recognize what they are doing. I have had their children come to me (as their teacher) in frustration because they are never home long enough to do assignments, don't get any aid, or are being forced through algebra II in 7th grade but kept from the art classes they love. I know college bound high school juniors who cannot write a decent paragraph (let alone essay) with mothers is more worried about popularity, and others so stiffled that they have panic attacks.
With each of these cases, I am very limited to do more than make a suggestion here or there, as they have never come to me for advice. Most do not even recognize what is plain to others. I'm not sitting in judgment of them, and fear that given our relationship as parent/teacher, I would be perceived as doing so if I really pressed.
Yet I wonder if those who come to hear a speaker would possibly be able to gain anything from such a workshop. Homeschooling can be such a rewarding, dynamic experience where both parent and child will grow. We just need to find out what kind of nutrients we need, and add the right amount of sunlight and warmth. I know that for most of these women, their hearts are in the right place, but they need to pack their baggage at the door to make it a truly worthwhile experience.
I suppose I am asking before I go any further with this if you feel something like this would be helpful, or just piss you off. :) I'd love some feedback.
Another key issue I often advise on is the lack of direction toward future goals . There are some skills that are basic and should be worked through solidly (how to write a five paragraph essay; maths needed to balance a checkbook, figure interest,etc; etc). I want to incorporate those skills needed for success, working them within them into the various models as well.
I have a solid start ,but the more I write, the more I am wondering if I am missing the mark here. I know a great many homeschooling families, and one of the biggest challenges to success is the baggage the homeschooling parent is bringing into the homeschool from their own life.
We have all seen it, even in ourselves at times. We either follow the same unhealthy patterns from our own childhoods, or overcompensate for them to a negative degree. Or , many feel begin to regret the years given to child-rearing and homeschooling, and begin to step away from their children's true needs to pursue their own. (this is not to say that pursuing one's own needs is bad, only when one does it at the expense of the child. If you can't find time to teach them at home, then do the right thing and send them elsewhere for an education!)
The dilemna is not in identifying the ways in which we bring our own issues into the homeschool.
Those who struggled for friends fret and worry about their children, often pushing their child into every social opportunity that presents itself while dropping the ball on the teaching of the simplest of skills. Those who were high achievers misinterpret the artistic soul of their child as laziness. Those who are insecure in their ability to teach become so regimented that their homeschool is completely devoid of fun. Or those who enroll their children in every available academic opportunity all week long because they do not wish to be home with them to help create a learning lifestyle .
The problem is rather who to identify these archetypes and discuss them in a way that will encourage the listener to look at their homeschool objectively. I know women who fit each of these and more, yet I realize that they do not recognize what they are doing. I have had their children come to me (as their teacher) in frustration because they are never home long enough to do assignments, don't get any aid, or are being forced through algebra II in 7th grade but kept from the art classes they love. I know college bound high school juniors who cannot write a decent paragraph (let alone essay) with mothers is more worried about popularity, and others so stiffled that they have panic attacks.
With each of these cases, I am very limited to do more than make a suggestion here or there, as they have never come to me for advice. Most do not even recognize what is plain to others. I'm not sitting in judgment of them, and fear that given our relationship as parent/teacher, I would be perceived as doing so if I really pressed.
Yet I wonder if those who come to hear a speaker would possibly be able to gain anything from such a workshop. Homeschooling can be such a rewarding, dynamic experience where both parent and child will grow. We just need to find out what kind of nutrients we need, and add the right amount of sunlight and warmth. I know that for most of these women, their hearts are in the right place, but they need to pack their baggage at the door to make it a truly worthwhile experience.
I suppose I am asking before I go any further with this if you feel something like this would be helpful, or just piss you off. :) I'd love some feedback.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Has it been that long?
I wish I could report that I had been off on a fabulous adventure, but I was lost amidst sneezes and coughs, hot tea and naps. Just as I thought the bug had left me, it decided to head south to my chest and linger another week. I had no mind to write anything coherent, let alone worthwhile.
I could have predicted that I would get a head and chest cold. You see, DH took a new job, and we had a two week window without health insurance. Of course I woke the first morning without insurance ill. Honey and I had a great many discussions on the health care situation, and just these two weeks reminded me how unfair many of the haves are being in their outright disdain for the have-nots. The stress of worry that it would turn into phnemonia was very real, and the monetary hit we would take was the biggest stresser of all.
I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to have an older daughter. Honey just took the lead and did most of her school on her own. I would lie down for a nap, to wake to a cup of hot tea. She picked up slack on chores and just let me rest through the worst of it.
Poor girl ended up getting the head cold too, so she spent a few days doing the resting and drinking the tea. We made fires and watched movies, which we haven't done in a while.
KingBee was out of town on business, which was a blessing as we just let everything go to just recouperate. Added plus is we did not have to suffer through any reality television as we do when he is here!
I managed to read two books, The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown and Echo in the Bone by Diana Gabaldon. I enjoyed the newest adventure of Robert Langdon a great deal, and would recommend it . I wish I could say the same of Jamie and Claire's latest saga, but the end of the book was so disjointed it seemed as if Gabaldon just tacked a half dozen cliffhangers on the end and stopped because she was bored with it all. A disappointment after two years wait since Breathe of Snow and Ashes.
Last week we were on the upswing, and tried very hard to get caught up. While my cough was ebbing, my mind was much slower in returning to a fully functioning state. I managed to give Honey a chapter test for the wrong chapter in Algebra. She and I were both disappointed with her 80%, and her claim that she didn't even recall learning the process for some of the problems worried us both. As I was entering the grade into the book, I realized that she was due test #4, not #7, and suddenly that 80% looks pretty good! Yikes!
The illness did make me realize a few things though, and as such a few changes have been instituted. Buzz flits in and out of here much like his nickname-sake, but leave behind more mess than honey. It's just not quite fair for the rest of us to be cleaning up after him, when most of his flitting about keeps him from contributing to the family as he used to do.
We discussed it ,and he oddly felt that one of the "womenfolk" should be picking up after him, since he takes the garbage out once a week and is, afterall, in college now. We laughed. Honey reminded him that he might be able to find a wife someday willing to agree to that arrangement, but it certainly would not be her. He is now in charge of his own dishes and cleaning one bathroom, as well as his laundry. I think this will take a lot of tension away between the siblings, and one time-stretched mother.
I finally got caught up on the blog-reader, and though I didn't comment much, it was great to see how everyone is doing. It is so good to be up and moving again!
I could have predicted that I would get a head and chest cold. You see, DH took a new job, and we had a two week window without health insurance. Of course I woke the first morning without insurance ill. Honey and I had a great many discussions on the health care situation, and just these two weeks reminded me how unfair many of the haves are being in their outright disdain for the have-nots. The stress of worry that it would turn into phnemonia was very real, and the monetary hit we would take was the biggest stresser of all.
I cannot tell you what a blessing it is to have an older daughter. Honey just took the lead and did most of her school on her own. I would lie down for a nap, to wake to a cup of hot tea. She picked up slack on chores and just let me rest through the worst of it.
Poor girl ended up getting the head cold too, so she spent a few days doing the resting and drinking the tea. We made fires and watched movies, which we haven't done in a while.
KingBee was out of town on business, which was a blessing as we just let everything go to just recouperate. Added plus is we did not have to suffer through any reality television as we do when he is here!
I managed to read two books, The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown and Echo in the Bone by Diana Gabaldon. I enjoyed the newest adventure of Robert Langdon a great deal, and would recommend it . I wish I could say the same of Jamie and Claire's latest saga, but the end of the book was so disjointed it seemed as if Gabaldon just tacked a half dozen cliffhangers on the end and stopped because she was bored with it all. A disappointment after two years wait since Breathe of Snow and Ashes.
Last week we were on the upswing, and tried very hard to get caught up. While my cough was ebbing, my mind was much slower in returning to a fully functioning state. I managed to give Honey a chapter test for the wrong chapter in Algebra. She and I were both disappointed with her 80%, and her claim that she didn't even recall learning the process for some of the problems worried us both. As I was entering the grade into the book, I realized that she was due test #4, not #7, and suddenly that 80% looks pretty good! Yikes!
The illness did make me realize a few things though, and as such a few changes have been instituted. Buzz flits in and out of here much like his nickname-sake, but leave behind more mess than honey. It's just not quite fair for the rest of us to be cleaning up after him, when most of his flitting about keeps him from contributing to the family as he used to do.
We discussed it ,and he oddly felt that one of the "womenfolk" should be picking up after him, since he takes the garbage out once a week and is, afterall, in college now. We laughed. Honey reminded him that he might be able to find a wife someday willing to agree to that arrangement, but it certainly would not be her. He is now in charge of his own dishes and cleaning one bathroom, as well as his laundry. I think this will take a lot of tension away between the siblings, and one time-stretched mother.
I finally got caught up on the blog-reader, and though I didn't comment much, it was great to see how everyone is doing. It is so good to be up and moving again!
Friday, October 2, 2009
A Week of Strengh through Sorrows...
I've been purposely absent, as this has been a week full of emotions . Our local homeschooling community was rattled when a mother of 8 passed away due to flu complications last weekend. While I was not close with her, I knew the family well enough to know how impossible this situation is to comprehend .
Beyond my own children's deaths, there is nothing that I fear more than my untimely passing, before we are doing homeschooling and they have begun to make their way in the world. I'm sure I am not alone in this. One begins thinking about all the contingencies, the unfinished business, the wisdom yet to be shared.
It has shaken up a number of the kids as well, including my own dear girl. In her matter of fact way, she has voiced the desire to spend a great deal of time working together to help her prepare for adulthood. I saw the haunted shadow in her eyes when she said "I will never be ready to lose you, but I must be ready to stand alone."
We both woke with head colds on Tuesday, and spent the next two days in a nestled state of napping between reading or movies. We doctored ourselves with soup and hot tea by the fire. And most of all, we truly gained strength in our sorrow from each other.
Our heads are clearing, and our hearts are full of the promise that each new day holds. We are chosing joy over negativity, adventure over apathy. We are off, not to waste on minute with regret.
Beyond my own children's deaths, there is nothing that I fear more than my untimely passing, before we are doing homeschooling and they have begun to make their way in the world. I'm sure I am not alone in this. One begins thinking about all the contingencies, the unfinished business, the wisdom yet to be shared.
It has shaken up a number of the kids as well, including my own dear girl. In her matter of fact way, she has voiced the desire to spend a great deal of time working together to help her prepare for adulthood. I saw the haunted shadow in her eyes when she said "I will never be ready to lose you, but I must be ready to stand alone."
We both woke with head colds on Tuesday, and spent the next two days in a nestled state of napping between reading or movies. We doctored ourselves with soup and hot tea by the fire. And most of all, we truly gained strength in our sorrow from each other.
Our heads are clearing, and our hearts are full of the promise that each new day holds. We are chosing joy over negativity, adventure over apathy. We are off, not to waste on minute with regret.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Healing and Celebrating
This has been of both healing and celebrating. I turned inward for the majority of the week, focusing on my duties as a mom and teacher. HoneyGirl has been struggling with health issues, which peaked this past Tuesday at their worst. After a myriad of tests, we are now keeping her on a dairy free diet, and are seeing results. We celebrated yesterday with our co-op's "Not Back to School" picnic. We had glorious weather, and over 80 folks turned out! It was an amazing pot luck meal, some great games for the kids. Most of all, it was a great time for the adults to visit and enjoy relaxing together. My heart was welling over, looking at so many homeschooled kids in *their* community, ages pre-K to high school grad (even a few alumni showed up late in the day--such a nice surprise!)
*I took most of my pictures using my film camera, but these are a few from my digital. Honeygirl is below left in hot pink and jeans, with her tell-tale long tresses. 
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Practice of Being Present
How often a day do you find yourself driving in the car with one of your children, yet miles away in thought? Do you find yourself trying to review math with your child, while a dozen items of your mental to-do list keep invading your focus? Can you lose yourself worrying about future choices, instead of simply focusing on today?
Being "present" is a huge problem for me. I am sure that it has something to do with trying to juggle too many things at one time, but that isn't the crux of it. The truth is that I often make poor choices with my time that catch up with me later when I end up trying to do five things at a time to ensure I make deadlines. Instead of completing three 20-minute tasks in an alotted hour, I will procrastinate by losing myself in a book, chatting on the phone, lingering on blogger for thrice the time it would have taken. When I should be focused on instruction, I continually lose my thought as the lingering duties are still wafting in my head. I have little patience and am not fully present (not qualities of a great educator!). Later, I will then frustrate myself by trying to complete all the tasks while fulfilling other responsiblities. Stupid!
I've recognized this about myself, and I have been working hard to change it. I really have plenty of time to do the required tasks for my business and everything else in my life I am finding that when I just sit down and do the business tasks at the beginning of my day, before anything else but coffee, my whole persepective changes. I am usually surprised at how quick and simple the work was, and I feel freed to be "present" , whether it is while schooling or playing. As an early riser, there is a significant amount that I can accomplish in the four hours before before 9am.
Instead of interrupting non-office time with work, I am notoriously carrying around a notepad where I jot down reminders of things that need attention. While dinner is cooking, I will review it and take care of any quick concerns (email correspondence, etc) but otherwise, I make a to do list for the next morning. Then I put it all away, not to be looked at until I rise.
The rest of my time I am working very hard at being present for my family and myself. I am noticing dramatic changes immediately in our homeschooling. Honey is understanding her math lessons the first time, which is not at all common . I wonder if my distracted mind was contibuting to her confusion? While she does quite a bit independently, I am making myself mentally available to her throughout. I will address menial tasks, like menu planning or mending, so that when she comes with questions or wanting discussion, I do not struggle to tear myself away from a focused train of thought, giving her partial attention.
Why is this so important? Because I have realized that I have, at times, been a bit of a hypocrite about her education. I claim that nothing is more important to me, yet I am painfully aware at how often I was responding to her inquiries in the quickest fashion possible. How wrong to squash her curiosity or excitement over an insight because I had too much to do!!!
Moreover, I find that we are having dynamic conversations all the time now that I am present. She wants to run errands with me in the afternoons , because we now discuss current events and movies, history and writing. We are having more fun, and I am actually getting more accomplished in every area. I still find in the evenings time to lose myself in a book or hobby, and can enjoy these without residual guilt.
Each day I will strive to live more of my life in the present, for the rewards are great!
Being "present" is a huge problem for me. I am sure that it has something to do with trying to juggle too many things at one time, but that isn't the crux of it. The truth is that I often make poor choices with my time that catch up with me later when I end up trying to do five things at a time to ensure I make deadlines. Instead of completing three 20-minute tasks in an alotted hour, I will procrastinate by losing myself in a book, chatting on the phone, lingering on blogger for thrice the time it would have taken. When I should be focused on instruction, I continually lose my thought as the lingering duties are still wafting in my head. I have little patience and am not fully present (not qualities of a great educator!). Later, I will then frustrate myself by trying to complete all the tasks while fulfilling other responsiblities. Stupid!
I've recognized this about myself, and I have been working hard to change it. I really have plenty of time to do the required tasks for my business and everything else in my life I am finding that when I just sit down and do the business tasks at the beginning of my day, before anything else but coffee, my whole persepective changes. I am usually surprised at how quick and simple the work was, and I feel freed to be "present" , whether it is while schooling or playing. As an early riser, there is a significant amount that I can accomplish in the four hours before before 9am.
Instead of interrupting non-office time with work, I am notoriously carrying around a notepad where I jot down reminders of things that need attention. While dinner is cooking, I will review it and take care of any quick concerns (email correspondence, etc) but otherwise, I make a to do list for the next morning. Then I put it all away, not to be looked at until I rise.
The rest of my time I am working very hard at being present for my family and myself. I am noticing dramatic changes immediately in our homeschooling. Honey is understanding her math lessons the first time, which is not at all common . I wonder if my distracted mind was contibuting to her confusion? While she does quite a bit independently, I am making myself mentally available to her throughout. I will address menial tasks, like menu planning or mending, so that when she comes with questions or wanting discussion, I do not struggle to tear myself away from a focused train of thought, giving her partial attention.
Why is this so important? Because I have realized that I have, at times, been a bit of a hypocrite about her education. I claim that nothing is more important to me, yet I am painfully aware at how often I was responding to her inquiries in the quickest fashion possible. How wrong to squash her curiosity or excitement over an insight because I had too much to do!!!
Moreover, I find that we are having dynamic conversations all the time now that I am present. She wants to run errands with me in the afternoons , because we now discuss current events and movies, history and writing. We are having more fun, and I am actually getting more accomplished in every area. I still find in the evenings time to lose myself in a book or hobby, and can enjoy these without residual guilt.
Each day I will strive to live more of my life in the present, for the rewards are great!
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