Struggles and Discoveries

It's been an interesting bit of time here between my last few posts. I've needed a bit of time to mull over a few things with all the changes/drama of late. Something in me always needs to analyze all the aspects of a problem to understand and move forward.

I have again donned my tool belt, and played plumber with both bathroom sinks. I am still baffled at the time, but for the last month both have been hardly draining. Refusing to pay a plumber for what seemed like a simple repair, I gathered up the snake and some wrenches. I took both traps off and found them clogged...one with long blonde hair, and the other with a necklace belonging to Honey's friend. It was easy to do, and surprisingly fun. Maybe I need to think about this as a future career....and move to Canada where I have been told there will be a shortage of plummers in the next decade!

Homeschooling Honeygirl is the one constant positive. I am forever impressed with her resilience, even through hormonal teen years. She might have a lazy attitude one week, but then bounces back with new passion the next. She's more self-reliant all around.

Last week, she and KingBee has been watching a rock concert online, and she mentioned an interest in guitar. He confiscated the acoustic gathering dust in Buzz's room and gave it to her to play around with. In true unschooler style, she started watching instructional videos on YouTube for hours each evening. A few days later, she asked if I still had Music Ace computer program, as she now is ready to learn to read music.

HoneyGirl did experience some more stuggles in algebra, but we are again pleased with our ability to make adaptations. We began lessons on additive inverse, and visual of the equations was not translating through the Math U See block manipulatives. I tried explaining it a few different ways, but she had already been overwhelmed looking a page of problems like 3x+12=4x + 7 - 2x without understanding the concept.

Sensing her anxiety, I sent her out in the yard with the dogs and a ball . I dug out our favorite HandsOn Equations packets and manipulatives and balance. Within five minutes, this program helped her understand the concept of balancing both the unknown and the number to solve for x, and she banged through the lesson, and she asked to do another. It is amazing to me how the right manipulatives can turn algebra into a fun puzzle for her!

The situation with Buzz has settled itself with me in a very good place. I am amazed at how great a relief it has been to stop worrying and reminding him of his academic and extra-curricular responsibilities. I've felt a great release of frustration, and I realize that everyone around me was effected by the residual resentment I held at his negative attitude toward my guidance.

I am seeing that in a way, I was interfering with Buzz learning lessons he needs the only way he understands: the hard way. He missed a movie with friends because he had no clean clothing, letting his laundry pile up in his corner for almost three weeks. He's dropped the ball on some boy scout planning he was responsible for and has been called out by leadership. He's missed a few assignments for his other teachers', as well as forgotten to study for tests here at home. He has yet to work on his research paper that was assigned over a month ago, and is due next week.

Each time a problem arises, he comes to me to fix it. I have been very good about maintaining the stance of distance here. I remind him that he made a choice through inaction in each situation, and he now must be responsible for the fallout. He might leave our discussions frustrated and upset, but I now see that before, I would have also felt that way. Giving him the responsibility for himself has been life changing for me, and I hope will end up being life changing for him in the end!

On a positive note, he has realized we were serious when we told him that we would not pay for his expanded social life now that he has a license, and he has put in a few applications for part-time work. He has a great attitude about his financial responsibility and driving. We all think it would be good for him to fill his schedule a bit more as well.

KingBee and I have been working quite a bit out as well. It seems there was a major underlying stress that he was trying to keep from me last week. Over 75% of his company is being laid off , and he didn't want to let me know until he knew if he was part of these cuts. He seems to be working out a deal to stay on this winter, but will end up heading a job in Virginia all winter until the new contracts start in spring. There is still no excuse for acting like his stinger was shoved too far up his bottom, but I can understand how stressful this has been for him.

The economy is getting to us, as it is to everyone else. I have decided to get a seasonal holiday job for a few nights or weekends to rebuild our cushion and help with Christmas expenses. Not that I want lots of extra work, but I am too much of a worrier to not have a little something set aside for a rainy day. The benefit to Buzz having his license is that I am not playing chauffer for him any longer, and Honey is much more of a homebody. She is excited about the idea of cooking meals while I am gone for everyone.

I am discovering that there are a lot of exciting changes when your teenagers start taking on responsibilities for themselves (whether they want to or not! )