I had mentioned those quarterly reviews a bit ago. Last week, I was able to gather together info from both kids' classes at the co-op as well as through the subjects we are doing at home. And I find that I had spoken too soon.
I was quite aware of the shift needed for HoneyGirl, and she proved to be diligent in doing the work for her co-op classes. Buzz Boy turned out to be a different story. He is missing full and partial assignments for almost every class, not studying for simple tests, and doing poorly in Algebra II. Of course, he has only been spending 2.5-3 hours a day on work, despite my questioning.
This time, the frustration was not just my own, as this is a typical scenario we seem to run into year in and out. KingBee knows how closely college is looming, and realizes that unless work habits change, BuzzBoy has little chance of success outside of the hive. KingBee and I discussed all of this at length, and planned a family meeting for when he returned from camping.
Typically, BuzzBoy owned all of his failings with "I know, I should have
a) followed directions, b) reviewed my notes, c) asked questions in class, etc. All the usual concerns are larger in light of the fact that he is hoping to have the privilege of driving and getting a part-time job next month. How can he expect us to allow more freedoms and probable distractions if he isn't even doing the minimal now?
We again asked if he really wants to pursue college, or if he just wants to work, reassuring him that either choice is admirable. Again, he reassured us how much he wants to go to college. KingBee was fairly quick in noting that he said he "wants to go to college" rather than "he wants to get a degree in ____." He discussed the folly in not separating the "experience" from the "education" in his mind.
Our discussion was really making progress when BuzzBoy made a major faux pas. He fell back on the bad habit of scapegoating someone else for his lack of focus, while that someone (me) was in the kitchen getting tea.
"I really would be doing better this year if I had a heavy course load like I did in years past," BuzzBoy tells KingBee.
"Please explain that further, " asked KingBee.
"Well, usually I have at least two more subjects than this five. It's easier for me to organize my week then there is so little work. I keep pushing everything off to the end, and I just forget things and run out of time," BuzzBoy elucidates.
(Meanwhile, I am in the kitchen absolutely baffled, wondering if he is either so arrogant to think his father might believe this hogwash, or so foolish that he doesn't realize the repercussions such a claim.)
To his credit, KingBee agreed that must be a difficult adjustment, and called me into the room. I knew by the glint in his eye exactly the direction he was going, but poor BuzzBoy was clueless, sitting smugly while he waited for me to be properly chastised.
"QueenBee, it seems as if BuzzBoy is struggling because his course load is so much lighter than last year. You really should have known that he can't handle too much free time, " KingBee stated.
I did my best to act convicted. "You are right, and I must apologize for that. I promise, I will have a remedy by nightfall. I'll be down going through the curriculum cabinet, and will have a syllabus for both American history and German to add."
The look on BuzzBoy's face was, well, priceless. KingBee spoke before a complaint could be measured. "Since you are spending less than three hours a day on work, with no productive hobbies or activities filling the rest of the time, we will grant you request for more work. I expect to get bi-monthly progress reports, so that you can show us that you are working diligently, and have earned driving privileges for hte next two weeks. "
Trumped....indeed.
To his credit, he started right in on both subjects yesterday, and spent the day completing any unfinished work to turn in. He called his Algebra II teacher for help and set up his schedule for the next two weeks.
When we were driving to scouts later than night, he chuckled and said, "You got me, Mom. I will never again try to blame you for my laziness."
Progress, it seems, is that he can joke about it so quickly. Silly boy...underestimating the Queen!!!
About Me
- Angela
- I am the mother of two wonderful children,ages 16 & 19 that I have been homeschooling using eclectic for over thirteen years. My hubby is a terrific dad and big kid, and our family is complete with our two furry, four-legged children others would call "dogs". I am an avid bibliophile and life-long learner.
6 comments:
Great story! I'm sorry you had to tell it. I find that Hels is better off when she has consistent and regular homework. This is an issue for us this year.
On another note--the Waldorf method is not working for Hels when it comes to French. I think I need to start over with her on it. Did you use a particular foreign language program or software?
Awww, I'm chuckling a bit here.
I find myself doing the same thing when I have less work. I put things off or they fall through the cracks. Same with Tess. We need to find that happy medium with the workload, something that's still in progress. Good luck to Buzzboy on the new coursework. Glad you are on the mend.
Progress indeed. Also in him owning it right away rather than blaming you first. It is a slow process but from the outside it looks like it is going somewhere.
Heh-heh. Good work, QB!
I was a little anxious last week as Moose finished up his accelerated math & computers classes, leaving only three classes in his schedule. Like BB, he gets into trouble when he's under-committed -- but with Moose, procrastination isn't the only trouble he's tended to find. We've been around this block so many times, and each time I've allowed the natural consequences to be his only consequences.
You can imagine my surprise when I caught Moose, for the first time in YEARS, reading a book that had nothing to do with sports or body building. He was reading Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. And he initiated discussions about it!
When he finished that, he asked for more books, so I offered him a stack from various shelves around the house. It nearly broke my heart when he refused all fiction, but I reminded myself, his step-dad is the same way, and it's okay.
He then read Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner, and he initiated discussions about that book, too!!
Seeing how quickly my non-reader could plow through and digest these books, I challenged him to read The Golden Ratio: The Story of PHI, the World's Most Astonishing Number by Mario Livio. On page sixteen he felt give-uppish. I told him to give it fifty pages. I told him his step-dad couldn't finish it, and that if he could, it would be a coup of sorts.
Problem is, the book constantly inspires him to fire up his TI-83 Plus, which slows the reading down, but adds to his enjoyment (and learning). I assured him it was worthwhile to explore on his own as he read -- that some books are for savoring.
I can not discuss this book with him because my brain rejects math like Moose's body rejects bee venom (no offense). He's half-way through it now.
Here's the delightful part:
He came to me yesterday, depressed, saying he felt this semester has been a total waste of time and money because he suddenly understands that he does not want to become an accountant. "My accounting professor is a lot of fun and the class is great because of his delivery, but the material bores the hell out of me. I'd be miserable as an accountant."
I said, "Sounds to me like both time and money has bee well spent this semester, if you've learned that much already. It takes some people a life-time to learn what makes them happy and what doesn't. So tell me, what tickles your brain the most?"
"Math, physics, and chemistry."
"What can you do with math, physics, and chemistry?"
"Engineering, and that sounds way more exciting than accounting."
Of course I'm not surprised. I'm grateful he's finally realized on his own what I'd stopped trying to tell him about himself three years ago, because now it means something to him. And that's the way he's been all these twenty-two years -- having to learn everything for himself, by himself.
By my estimation, because he doesn't have this twisted need to prove his parents wrong, BB is five or six years ahead of the academic schedule :-) Even so, taking an academic break in order to "earn-while-you-learn" never hurt a kid, and you're a wise mom to acknowledge the value of academics and work experience alike.
Having said that, I went to college because it was expected of me and I had no idea what I wanted a degree in until middle of sophomore year. I think that's more often the case than not, especially in a prosperous economy. There is a LOT to be said for taking time off to work and grow up a little more and know oneself a little better before spending tuition dollars willy-nilly for the "experience" of it. KB is absolutely right on about that!
Great post!
Don't we all have "issues" that resurface again and again. Each time he encounters his issue and overcomes it he will be stronger.
I'm an advocate of making sure that college is the right choice. It wasn't the right choice for me and yet I spent six years getting a degree in something useless (Classics).
I paid my way through college waiting tables. The more customers I was serving the better I did. Being busy helps me to be more organized.
I hope the situation improves very soon.
Your Buzz Boy stories always give me such hope for my years parenting teens!
Your steady parenting is such a gift to your kids. Your stories (and Zilla's too) almost make me look forward to homeschooling teens, rather than dreading it.
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